Plain City
nouna small town just northwest of columbus. a by-p-ss for semi trucks. known for the der dutchmen, country boys and football. you know when you are in plain city. you have to located dublin to know where plain city is.
kristen-i’m bored
jill-lets go to plain city
kristen-where is it at?
jill-right by dublin
kristen-is it plain?
a small town located west of columbus, right beside hilliard and dublin. it’s known for the homestyle amish cooking of the der dutchman. only the residents know what really goes on in the kitchen though… and it’s not amish cooking. jonathan alder, the local high school, isn’t known for much except a great football team and girls basketball (aka lauren prochaska). the town was recently upgraded with the addition of a byp-ss that added another stoplight; bringing the total to two and a half. plain city is full of townies, hicks, and farmers, and country songs describe life. “ticks” by brad paisley? yessir, my girl and i have done that. “hicktown” by jason aldean? yup, that’s where i’m from. yes, people have tried painting the water tower.
if you’re from plain city, no one will know where it is, so don’t bother trying to explain.
1. “plain city? oh, i know where that is! der dutchman, right?”
2. “wait, you mean your town used to only have one stop light?”
3. “you have a sweet football team.”
home to semi-trucks, f-cked-up families, and country boys. while they can be pretty cute out in the boonies, be warned many can be jerks and break you heart. being raised in these f-cked up families doesn’t teach them high values. such as education or how to treat a girl. if you stuck gold with one who actually is in college, don’t let go, they’re a rare breed.
bob: hey wanna, get out of plain city tonight and go to the strip club?
anthony: sure, wait i’m suppose to hang out with my girlfriend
bob: oh, ok never mind then
anthony: nahh nevermind f-ck her, ill make up an excuse to get out of it
bob: again? she really needs to dump you by now.
home to semi-truck routs, messed up families, and country boys. while these boys can be quite cute, be warned they are jerks. being raised in these families has not taught them values. they do not know how to treat girl, often causing heartbreaks followed by many excuses. education is not a proud thing here either. you’ve struck gold if you man is in college, don’t that one let go.
bob: hey wanna leave plain city and go to the strip club tonight?
anthony: sure, wait i’m suppose to hang out with my girlfriend
bob: oh, ok never mind then
anthony: nahh nevermind screw her, ill make up an excuse to get out of it
bob: again? she really needs to dump you by now.
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