Plainview

a exculsive upper cl-ss getaway on long island. a town full of black mercedes, exotic sportscars, and no ethnic diversity. plainview also known as “plainjew” is host to homes starting at 3/4 of a million dollers. plainview contains a “ghetto” or also named as the “grit” where it is believed that the majority of cathloics, or poor the poor jews live. although, it is no ghetto with homes starting at 600k +. plainview is considered “j-p” central on the east coast. unless you are a doctor/ lawyer/ or make more then 200k a year dont even look at a home there. teens are vicious and unless you’re one of them you won’t survive past a short conversation. the town that doesn’t look like much, but costs a lot.
plainview the town that looks expensive but costs much more.
obviously your upper cl-ss education isn’t working. learn some grammar.
sure, you can say its a “getaway” with some pretty nice cars rollin down the streets, but its also a lot of old people in their beat up buicks with their hood smashed up from crashing into gold & meyers deli. you also get the occasional person in their powerchair taking up a lane of old country road.

there really isn’t a ghetto at all. the ghetto with houses that have only 1 floor and a bas-m-nt is a lot better than what some other people have. the homes cost a lot, and the taxes are ridiculous.

people here tend to be obnoxious, rude, and just annoying in general. you hold the door for someone, you get ignored. you let the door close on someone, and you hear “-sshole” as you walk away. you can’t win here. oh, but our tap water tastes pretty d-mn good.

there are a lot of jews here, hence the name plainjew. j-p central, yeah, all that good stuff. one good thing about that is that we have some awesome delis.
plainview people love matzoh
to fittingly quote any line from the movie “there will be blood” during a normal conversation; specifically those lines by daniel plainview, the main character.
dave: “hey, where’d all the gas go?”
tom: “drainage! drainage, david, you boy!”
dave: “what?!”
tom: “i just plainviewed the h-ll out of you.”

—

john: “hey, where’s your kid?”
marty: “i have abandoned my child! i have abandoned my boy!”
your all idiots. welcome to the internet.
plainview
a town in long island full of jews who complain a lot. also known as “complainjew”.
chris: plainview mcdonald’s has the most customer complaints and the lowest average check in the company.
jon: that’s because all the customers are f-cking jews.