Porch Crawler
a social gathering in which the people attending the party attempt to get so drunk, they can’t even crawl across a porch. it involves mixing the drink in a very large tub with ice. often a cooler is used. the drink is made with canadian beer, vodka, whisky, and pink lemonade. several recipes may be found online.
brian: hey man, what are you up to tonight?
kevin: dude, we’re having a porch crawler. it’s $10 a piece – you in?
brian: dude, i was so drunk last night, i don’t remember what happened.
kevin: didn’t you say that you were going to a porch crawler or something?
a mixed alcoholic beverage that consists of beer, vodka, gin, and (pink) lemonade. the sweetness of the lemonade combats the bitter taste -ssociated with alcohol. if made properly, the deliciousness will deceive you and you can get absolutely f-cked without realizing that you’re ingesting a deadly concoction. similar to spiked fruit punches, porchcrawler is usually made in large batches.
shawn: who’s down to pitch in $10? i’m thinking of making some porchcrawler for pregame before tonight’s kegger
billy: i had a cup and a half of porchcrawler from last night and i didn’t even end up getting to the party because i was so wasted.
natalie: mmmm.. wtf is this sh-t? it tastes soo good!
— chugs 2 cups; 10 min later–
chloe: look at that bitty crawling on the porch. she looks so helpless!
megan: it’s funny because she probably had some of shawn’s porchcrawler, that sh-t gets you f-cked!
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