Post-Traumatic Choke Disorder
an anxiety disorder that is triggered from witnessing one’s team choke, whether that be a spring training game, season game, or playoff game. symptoms include:
-fair weather sportsmanship
-ranting about the choke
-afraid to watch any games
-making excuses to not watch a game (playing video games, homework, on the computer)
-avoidance of talk about recent games
-loss of faith in team
-low self-esteem, unable to defend team from rival fans
example 1:
joe: dammit! the cubs just keep losing!
kel: screw this, i’m gonna go to the bar!
few minutes later…
joe: yes! we tied it!
(kel runs in the room)
kel: alright! they’re unstoppable!
joe: d-mn, kel. no need to hide your ptcd.
example 2:
joe: hey, the pats won last night!
kel: f-ck the pats! all they ever do is f-cking lose! we won super bowl f-cky-two! the giants weren’t actually that f-cking good enough! it was one of our f-cking players!
joe: chill, kel!
kel: sorry. post-traumatic choke disorder.
example 3:
joe: hey, kel! you gonna watch the alds tonight?
kel: no, i’m probably gonna go out with jane.
joe: i thought you broke up with jane?
kel: dammit! my ptcd’s acting up again!
example 4:
joe: hey, the cubs played an amazing game last night!
kel: um, can we not talk about the cubs right now? i happened to miss the game.
joe: ptcd?
kel: yup.
example 5:
marvin: yo, boston sucks!
kel: yeah, whatever.
joe: dude, don’t take that from him!
kel: who cares? i’ve lost confidence!
joe: stop it with the ptcd!
example 6:
i myself happen to be a sufferer of ptcd. since the pats’ loss in super bowl 42, i have been petrified of ever watching another sports game. the one time i watched a red sox game after that was when they choked to the white sox during a home game in 2010. since then, i have suffered a double dose of the disorder.
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