posturbate
to post incessant, inane threads on an internet forum to alleviate boredom or s-xual frustration.
must be slow at work — scott’s done nothing but posturbate all day on hc.
when you have a load so majestic that you must upload a picture of it to facebook, twitter, or intagram.
you: hey man, did you see me posturbate last night?
friend: yeah, i’m unfollowing you on instagram.
on facebook, persistently attempt to steer threads in a s-xual direction; continually make lewd and suggestive comments, regardless of their relevance to the original post or current tone of the thread.
nancy: grandma geriatrician’s birthday on sat-rday. what do you get for a 90 year old???
moira: what else could you want or need at that age?
rhonda: just wrap up something she already has. she’s 90!!!! she won’t remember if she had one or not.
moira: then re-wrap it and let your brother give it to her, too … lol!
keith: i’d like to give you a “pearl necklace” for your birthday.
nancy: dude, that doesn’t even make sense! go posturbate somewhere else.
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