preggotiate

negotiating the terms of a pregnancy, usually before the pregnancy occurs. the terms in question include but are not limited to: the career aspirations of the prospective parents, their earning potential, housing and location, child care, schools, television-watching regulations, table manners, permissible clothing, and nutrition. planning can reach absurdly detailed levels, however it’s understood that the terms of a preggotiation go completely out the window once the child is born and the parents confront the realities of child-rearing.
jill: “i want to have a baby.”
jack: “ok, but we can’t raise a child in this little apartment.”
jill: “ok, then let’s move to a bigger one.”
jack: “we can’t afford a bigger place in this city, and anyway the schools are bad. we’ll need to move upstate.”
jill: “but my job is here–i won’t be able to make nearly as much money upstate.”
jack: “well, if we’re going to have a child you can probably kiss your career goodbye, and i’ll have to squeeze in a second job. maybe i can tend bar at night.”
jill: “ok, but the tv must be off during dinner, and if it’s a girl she won’t leave the house looking like a hoochie.”
jack: “deal. glad to preggotiate with you. now let’s go get you knocked up.”