pretentious hipster

oh man… oh man! oh man oh man oh man! whoever wrote that definition before me. that is pretentious hipster talk. hipsters are never okay and they don’t actually have opinions, obnoxious or otherwise. they merely conform to unpopular fashions. that’s it. that’s all. it’s a self-ent-tled way to feign social awkwardness that people with their total lack of worthwhile qualities and talent would be feeling as genuine outcasts if they didn’t secretly believe themselves superior and ironically hilarious. in this way, it’s also an attempt to cash in on attention using geek chic. they don’t care about winning arguments because they don’t have beliefs except the above. pretentious people try to sound smarter than they are, e.g. by making dissonantly unnecessary references to counter culture figures, but hipsters are so far beyond pretentious that they think appreciation of meaningless t-shirt slogans is enough to elevate them to social icon status. this makes the phrase pretentious hipster so redundant that it should just be shortened to hipster, except when describing what hipsters talk about; ie pretentious hipster bullsh-t, such as “i met that indie rock singer. she’s an argyle superstar.” a hipster is a therefore a psychological trainwreck that should be avoided until he/she inevitably ruins itself.
1: are you going to use scorsese references in your pretentious hipster bullsh-t this weekend?

2: no, film is too mainstream. i’m just sucking fame’s d-ck in a general way until someone tells me a new way to seem unique.
oh man… oh man! whoever wrote that definition before me. that is pretentious hipster talk. normal hipsters can be alright, but what makes a pretentious hipster different is that they are pretentious as f-ck. pretentious hipsters don’t look for new information out of boredom like normal people. to a pretentious hipster, information is something to win arguments with. a way to be the smartest guy in the room. a pretentious hipster is the kind of person who wore his beliefs on his sleeve in highschool. the kind of person who vomits them everywhere at parties, often with an acoustic guitar close at hand. a pretentious hipster cleans his -sshole out in public, if you know what i mean. they are the people that drove kerouac to drink himself to death.
pretentious hipster man: “i so intellectually dominated that guy at borders. as if he knew anything about faulkner. god! it was like something out of a wes anderson movie!”
a negative term that is getting more and more popular especially after 9/11 and the iraq war because the pretentious hipster is stereotypically a liberal artist that is anti war and modern art is looked down on my the majority but gets recognition by some of the major art establishments. anyone who has anything to do with art or liberal culture automatically gets thrown into the pretentious hipster crowd. it’s like a never ending fight between the outcast and the popular pretty kids in high school except it takes place everywhere in america. the pretentious hipster is hated so much because people will never understand him and he can’t be stopped thanks to america’s freedom. his difference of opinion drives everyone nuts. nuts enough for all the mainstream preppies to go on to urban dictionary and youtube to write negative things about him. people who hate pretentious hipsters are psuedo-conformist
stereotypically, the pretentious hipster is a drinker of coffee, likes punk and indie, watches foreign film, votes democrat. he is also known as a hippie and a drug addict at times. even though people have never heard the music and film he likes, he will still be criticized based on speculation. the pretentious hipster he shops mom and pops shop and gets accused of trying too hard to be unique and different. oh well, he’ll be criticized either way, better to do what you want than be intimadated by internet criticism by p-ssive aggressive mainstream kids. just be yourself and you will p-ss all your enemies off.