providence

home of brown university (the only thing nyc socialites know the state for, due to rich college bound kids), risd (thus the crazy sh-t on telephone poles and insanely dressed thayer’s street shoppers), providence place mall (where all rhode islanders have, at least, been), federal hill (a special place with excellent food and well done jobs), and a river flowing with acid waste and occasionally water-fire, among other fabulous rhode island-y things.
let’s go to providence tommorow.
the mall?
yes.
the capital of rhode island. kind of like the illegitimate lovechild of boston, la, and the soviet union.

bad part of town: southside
person a: i’m from providence.

person b: oh, really? -clutches wallet-
home of the italian mob (note the numerous “free buddy cianci!” shirts worn by college students in the city), brown university (the ugly stepchild of the ivy league- where you can graduate taking all cl-sses p-ss/fail), risd (which somehow managed to out-brown brown university), providence college (where the kids their take more pride in their bac than their gpa), federal hill (great italian food- a good side benefit of the italian mob), providence place mall (funded by the mob, like everything else in this city), and lots and lots and lots of ‘hood. there is no middle ground in providence- you’re either in a rich neighborhood or the projects. oh, and waterfire is pretty cool.
person a- so, where are you from?
person b- providence.
person a- oh, you mean boston’s runt cousin?
person b- yeah, except the mobsters still run our town.
the beastin’ capital of rhode island that’s (still) run by the mob where you can be shot, stabbed, grab some dell’s, watch the polluted river be lit on fire, go to college, and buy rims.

the phrases you’ll most hear in providence are … “i know a guy ..” “yea, it fell off the back of a truck.” “walking on cobblestones wouldn’t be so hard if i wasn’t drunk.” “oh, sh-t ! the popo’s !” – haha n-body says the last one.

it’s a kick-ss town and nothing compares to it.

suck on that boston.
-outsider drives into providence-

outsider: “h-llo, i’m from greenwhich – what’s that giant pineapple ?”
p-town local: “that’s federal hill. dont go up tha if ya dont at least look italian.”
outsider: “why thank you. what’s that your drinking ?”
p-town local: “just some dell’s – with some absolut. mostly absolut.”
outsider: well, now, umm … is the river on fire !?!?”
p-town local: “huh. oh yea, it is. thats normal.”
outsider: “is that a trannie ?!?!?”
p-town local: “yea. thats normal too.”

welcome to p-town.
capital of rhode island, cool place to be, alot of people have f-cked up definitions of providence. each end has rich parts and poor parts, yes even the south side. you can be with yuppies, hippies, college kids, old people and gays on college hill-part of east side and go 4 blocks over to pleasant st. where u can still here gunshots every now and then. most people who think they’re going to get shot or robbed by driving in providence are from surrounding towns or out of state and are usually scared of what they dont understand. rhode island is full of white kids who are open minded for the most part, but are scared of the city because they have households that have alot of prejudice. like white kids who have black friends in school, but dont hang with them on the weekends, and listen to hip-hop music and/or dress in that style. but wont have them over their house. the parents are like that too especially the farther into the sticks you go. they don’t mind they’re son having a black friend, but their daughter better not come home with a black boyfriend. dumb sh-t like that. theres not alot of evil hatred and racism, but there is a good amount of prejudice, mainly due to the people’s own ignorance. but they’ll never say it to your face. but providence is like any other city, you have good parts and bad parts, but unlike real bad ghettos in other states, providence is still quiet at night! theres only 20 murders a year, in the whole state!! i was born and raised in providence, im 23 years old, and still live in providence. i hang with kids from cranston, warwick, west warwick, pawtucket, central falls, c-mberland, smithfield, scituate, newport, warren, north kingstown, south kingstown,johnston, bristol, barrington, woonsocket, east providence, north providence, east side, south side, north side, west end, and fed hill. and most of the sh-t in these other definitions is cr-p.
true story!!!!!!!!!
this is why you become more well rounded if ur from providence

b chills with his friends at his friend e’s cookout in johnston, ri.
e’s friend j suggests basketball, but e’s friend g has issues;

j: let’s got play basketball
e: yea we can hit the courts over on hartford ave.
b: yea around the corner from hartford projects
g: naw, i’d rather not
e: what’s wrong, you don’t like the projects?
g: naw too many black people.
j: what’s the matter?
g: i just don’t like black people.
b: it’s okay dude, cause they probably don’t like you either. hahahaha
g: why? what did i do to them?
b: you make no sense, ignorant f-ck. hahahaha
-the largest city in rhode island with 175000 people
-downcity/waterfire and the mall is pretty nice
-the present mayor is gay while the former one was corrupt
-everywhere besides downtown and eastside is out of bounds, you really have no buissness there unless u live there, visiting someone, or going somewhere.
– heres the reason you dont wanna go to the wrong neighboorhood

providence murders

1985 14
1986 18
1987 20
1988 21
1989 28
1990 31
1991 17
1992 19
1993 22
1994 20
1995 22
1996 16
1997 12
1998 15
1999 26
2000 30
2001 23
2002 23
2003 18
2004 17
2005 20
2006 11

-its also a very diverse city with over half the population spanish
-home of the 1999, 2000, 2001 gravity games
-overall if your from out of town there is plenty of things to do down city; just dont venture off to a bad area
little kid: mommy can we go 2 the providence place mall
mom: yes as long as you can help read the highway signs, i dont wanna take the wrong exit and be in the wrong neighboorhood.
little kid: i think we will be better off by going to the warwick mall
main city in rhode island, contains a lot of ‘hood, a few rich college kids at brown, and ghetto trash of all races. women tend to wear lots of makeup, tramp stamps and gold jewelry. men wear gold chains and ghetto style including shiny white sneakers and hats c-cked up and to the side.
“this guy from providence was wearin’ gucci gold chains and had a pimped out old audi. my parents were not impressed.”

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