purchase goggles

1. when someone who is ugly/lame looks really attractive; when you find yourself having mad bone for someone who, in the real world, you would laugh at with your hot friends. this disease affects 99% of students at purchase college. it is not s-xually transmitted, though it does cause victims to have a lot of s-x with people who, when seen in the dining hall later, will cause them to barf a little in their mouths.

2. purchase goggles doesn’t only apply to how one percieves another who is ugly/lame, it is also representative of how one approaches their love life. one might be wearing purchase goggles when they start feeling as though there are like 5 guys in the whole world and they must start liking one of them or they’ll be alone forever. there are millions of men in the world and they are not all dancers and painters. one day, post-purchase, you’ll find someone who did not have s-x with the same 5 people you’ve had s-x with, and in the rare instance that this does happen you will not have to find this out by seeing them together in the dining hall. (please note: actors do not apply because no one should ever be dating an actor to begin with. this is another topic entirely)
if any of the following applies to you, you are most definately wearing purchase goggles.

example of def. 1: chubby dancers, guys with plugs, guys with bald spots, guys with bad haircuts in general, guys who drink cobra, guys who will buy you drugs, guys with moustaches, guys with cars, guys with bands, guys with cool/hot friends, guys who were raised in manhattan, guys who live in brooklyn, guys with big bathrooms, guys who look like hot guys you can’t have, guys who wear tight black clothes, guys with girlfriends, guys with boyfriends etc.

example of def. 2: when any combination of the above start to look like someone you could bring home to your parents.