Purista
a stupid douche pretending to be a coffee expert like a barista but acts like a minimalist to give the name a more hipster sound.
gary: here is your coffee ma’am.
tina: thank you! you are a great barista!
gary: no ma’am. a barista is someone who works at starbucks. i don’t conform to the easiest ways of making coffee. i am a purista!
noun. a self designation intended to promote oneself as a connoisseur that purports to be simultaneously devoted to both minimalism and to unending dissection, precise measurement and reporting of data. applies especially to food and drink.
purista: “let’s just make love…”
partner: “oh yes, right now!!”
purista: “but first i need to check the temperature, the lumens of light, the resiliance of the mattress and…
partner: “forget it. let’s just go out for coffee…”
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