Puritan

someone who wants to basically make life as boring as possible
mr. c-x is so puritan he made the band instafail due to lack of coolness.
a an old fashioned, homeschooling mother who thinks that girls should suffer during warm weather because shorts and tank tops will turn them into strippers destined for h-ll.
-girl walks into room wearing a weather-appropriate but not revealing tank top and jeans-

puritan mother: oh my goodness! put some clothes on before you end up spending the rest of your life in a brothel!

girl: but look at zack! he’s shirtless and his jeans are so low we can practically see all of his boxers! why is that ok??

puritan mother: because i’m a s-xist b-tch.
a bunch of religious zealots, name “puritans” for their faith in the olde ways, who left europe to come to america and kill all the natives! nice guys, eh?
the puritans were the founders of america…those dirty b-st-rds!
a person with a high code of morals.

usually refrains from s-x, drugs and (fallen) women. often can be seen in or around religious gatherings.

at times can be a dangerous veil of deception.
she may seem a puritan but i can -ssure that she was a filthy ho when she offered me to a r-mm-ng.

or

stay away from him, he’s a puritan.
a person who loves jesus and would never do drugs, have s-x, or wear inappropriate clothing. they also go to church all the time and try to be the best they can be.
jasmia: hey lexi you’re such a good innocent puritan! keep staying above the influence a doing your homework!

lexi: thank you jasmia. praise jesus!
a person who lives in the woods in lansing, illinois. they are typically seen going to gfs.
me: there are no more puritans.
her: no, there are still puritans. i see them going to gfs.
adj.) new england slang meaning outdated, or just stupid.

you’re so puritan, man, you listen to grunge.