Rag Week
rag week. this is a special religious festival in every woman’s calender. it is celebrated for one week in every month, and is dedicated to the greek g-ddess ‘tam-pax’ (also known as ‘queen of b-tches’).
during this week, females of child-bearing age offer blood to symbolise their sistership with each other, and their devotion to the g-ddess.
a special sport called ‘man-baiting’ is also practised during the festivities, where women must say everything a man does is wrong (even if it isn’t, or she asked him to do it 5 minutes earlier).
“i love going down on my girlfriend during rag week.
(everything umbongo says is 80% true and 100% funny, but he could have added:) rag week is traditionally a part of the british university calendar. it is a fund-raising week for the poor and disadvantaged (not themselves), where students try to palm off funny writings, and (say) push toilets along the main street of town, swallow ugly-looking fluids, or try to set up new guinness records for bedhopping, for fun and public cash. errrr, but apart from that usual stuff, they give some of the resulting money to local or larger charitable organisations, such as the slc (student loans company).
a: so what are you doing for rag week?
b: i think i’ll just stay in bed.
a: have you got sponsorship for that?
b: no, but i have got a whoppin hangover.
rag week – the rag stands for ‘raising and giving,’ ‘raise a grand,’ or general funness depending on who you ask. whatever it is, it is theoretically supposed to be about students raising money for charity in various creative ways, while having fun at the same time.
increasingly, however, it is simply a week-long orgy of alcohol.
damo: doing anything for rag week?
bob: i’m gonna get totally p-ssed on guinness and shrooms.
damo: sweet! what about you, jack?
jack: i’m thinking of doing a spinsored bungee jump and giving the money to oxfam…say, would you guys sponsor me.
damo and bob: no way! we need that money to get wasted!
stay the f-ck away from them!
hi john, whats up?
well -sshat, its my sl-tb-tchwh-r-‘s ragweek and as a result, her stinkbox is covered in cranberry sauced and i cant get so much as a cheeky f–k without my c-ck looking like dracula!
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