Ralph Malph
the act of giving oral s-x in order to hide ones inablility to summon an erection. named for the character from happy days.
joanie (spread eagle and signalling ralph malph to plow her)- come on, malphie, gimme the high hard one.
ralph – uh, joannie, uh, aren’t we moving a little fast?
joanie- you sound like chachi, ya big wuss. whip it out, goddammit!
ralph – (gazing wildly about till he remembers how he solved this with potsie just last week. nods.)aha!
(laugh track)(bends over into joanie’s lap and buries his face in her little mrs. c. note to director: remember this is supposed to be the fifties and it’s network television. ralph’s face must be surrounded by joanie’s ungroomed muskpelt in order to get past the censors.)
joanie- unngh!(leans back and smiles)
(laugh track chuckles and full roars as this goes on for awhile. joanie checks her watch- laugh track).
joanie- (winces)hey, ralphie, it’s not a punching bag!
ralph- (through his teeth) i still got it!
(applause, fadeout, roll credits).
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