Rat man

a notorious drug bangin’/womanizing composer of electronic music who bred hooded rats (notably “simon the impaler”) in manhattan’s east village. ratman is credited with creating innovative public television programming (wktv, the “movin’it show” w/mimi and henrietta, the curse of judy vandetta, the american festival of microtonal music etc.) his pr work with ny bands, live skull, ritual tension, the sick f-cks, urgent fury, sick of it all, agnostic front, regan youth, l7’s (although not from ny) “fast and furious” a video homage to the girls of russ meyer to name a few. other credits include the “in concert” series of performances featuring alternative tentacles recording artists the dead kennedy’s, jello biafra’s “love american death squad style” video, tragic mulatto, b-tthole surfers, the beatnigs and alice donut. his credits also include having the greatest number of “world premier music, dance and performance video’s” in the country before all the independent record companies went main stream. however, due to the adult content in a solo performance by mick jagger, mtv decided to throw him a bone for the sake of the downtown crowd. the show’s camera and weekly broadcasts (wktv) brought clubs like cbgb’s to the vanguard of underground television in the united states and abroad. in 2000, his legendary megalomania inspired the tune tell it to the hi-rise by jazz cannon. he still resides in nyc with his dog hipatia, “chili” the ice worm and a pregnant rat named drucilla.
when jagger called the show, he left a confusing message on rat man’s answering machine. what’s an answering machine?
a hermit that lives in a block of flats in stoke. (also has a ginger beard and has lost the plot, see above)
are you coming out tonight ratman?

no, i’m just gonna sit here and watch my foot fetish p-rno…
a local legend in southend-on-sea, ess-x. a small seaside town in south eastern england.
the story of the ratman has some variants but the core result remains the same.
that under a tunnel, sitting just near the residence of the mayor, there looms a figure that resembles both a rat and a human being.
it will screech in the middle of the night and attempt to chase out people walking through there at night.

one version of the story tells of a local tramp and headcase. who lived in the tunnel, being paralysed and unable to leave.
one night a group of drunken teenagers beat him to death and stole what little food and clothes he had. as he was freezing to death he could see rats scuttle forth to consume him. he swore revenge on the town that had abused him, and is now the ratman of southend, a vengeful spirit that hates the young and healthy.

the other version claims that the ratman was the deformed son of an old mayor of southend. he was born hideously deformed, with a rodent-like snout, jagged teeth and a rotting stench about him.
the mayor had the tunnel constructed to hide his secret, as the child was also the result of an adulterous relationship.
the ratman still lurks there to this day, alone in the dark and waiting for any tasty humans to cross its path.

the story emerged years ago and reappears from time to time, via bizzare signs posted on lamp-posts and telephone poles.
shaun and craig ran under the tunnel of the ratman, to see if he would try and eat them.

the story of the ratman being the mayors deformed son, shares some thematic similarities with the mythical tale of the minotaur.

i have personally heard screeching in that tunnel and momentarily thought it was the ratman.
a person who has “lost the plot” due to excessive amounts of drug abuse, often has a ginger beard despite having very dark brown hair.
i see you haven’t had a shave today ratman!
something, most likely a conversation or an interest in something, that is killed instantly with a single stupid or insanly dull comment. instead of saying “the conversation has been killed dead”, you would say “the conversation has been ratman’d”.
group of friends – hey, how does everyone fancy going to the youth club?
ratman (in incredibly whiney and ‘desperate for attention’ tone) – i once went to a youth club…

(dead silence in the confusion of what has just transpired)

the conversation has just been ratman’d
1. supervillain, ratman appears only in darkness, his deeds of evil include starting portugese soccer riots, pouring beer in david beckhams gold plated underpants, and knitting oversized jumpers for his mum.
watchout david beckham!!! watchout for your -rs-, ratman is among us!!! there is evil among us master!!! evil i say!!!
msn fiend. can’t type for f-ck…
xxxxxx: well ratman, how are you today?
ratman: lol

xxxxxx: what’s happening?
ratman: lol