Reader’s Digest Syndrome
(n) – the tingly, pr-ckly, and sometimes debilitating feeling in the legs after a long toilet session. most commonly resulting from sitting there too long to finish a column or story in the bathroom companion. originally resulting from its namesake magazine, reader’s digest syndrome or rds can result from any lengthy toilet/reading session of any material.
i took the magazine to the cr-pper so i could read a quick article while i drop the kids off at the pool. i ended up reading a 5 page article about some dude falling off a cliff even though i was blessed with a one wipe wonder. i tried to stand up but i had a serious case of rds (reader’s digest syndrome) and my legs gave out. i ended up blacking out when i hit my head on the toilet. the janitor found me 2 hours later with pants around my ankles. i think he took my magazine…
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