Real jesus
a dark-skinned man of jewish, israeli descent, in (two) lifetimes revealed himself as god’s son, performed many miracles, spurned the beginning of a religion based upon his teachings and those if his father, commonly called the “almighty” or g-d. also, he was crucified for his crimes against the caesar of the time’s laws and wishes, as well as undermining his authoritah. real jesus is commonly misconceived as jesus christ and his apostles, a whiter, more bearded and th-rny-headwear inclined modern interpretation of a clearly israeli-born man. jesus christ, however, was more widely accepted due in no small part to the common skin tone of his followers.
g-d:wait, guys, uh….my son wasn’t that white…
vatican:whatchu saaaaay????
g-d:no seriously, he was israeli.
vatican:nuh-uh. this guy with the thorn headband is jesus.
g-d:oh, lol, no that’s jesus christ. i’m talking about my son, real jesus. get it straight.
vatican:-with fingers crossed- okaaay, we promise we’ll change it….
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