Regulation Ranger
the us army has always maintained its’ own cultural norms and behaviors. longstanding jokes and traditions are part of the very make up and fabric of everyday soldier life. one such longstanding, common euphymism was the identification of “barracks” t-tles. there was the “barracks barber”, usually a lower enlisted who would undercut the post barber by offering cheaper (and usually better) haircuts within the actual barracks. of course, there came to be a “barracks lawyer” to compliment whatever legal dispute or disciplinary claims that soldiers inquire about. to supercede the “barracks lawyer” there is now such an appropriate personal t-tle as “regulation ranger”. usually a regulation ranger has over an average of 7 years of total service, and usually at least one combat deployment. by a wide margin, most regulation rangers happen to hold a rank of staff sergeant or above. most regulation rangers are army reservists as well, and hold absolutely zero authority in their regular, stateside, full time career. as a result of their obvious insecurity towards their duties as a leader, most regulation rangers study the army regulation books in their free time. the point of studying regulation books is so that they may exert their authority over those subordinate to them. most regulation rangers are not only insecure, but many have power and responsibility complexes as well. never far behind a unit commander or senior nco is a regulation ranger, always manipulating and methodically playing “games” so as to implement more and more useless rules. when the implementation of a new rule is emplaced, a regulation ranger is satisfied. unfortunately, this micromanagement doesn’t stop, for it spreads among their like-minded counterparts that are bucking for rank. the only way to defeat a regulation ranger is to outperform and outcl-ss them in every possible aspect.
usually being in the ranks of e-6 to e-9, most regulation rangers are insecure and have control complexes.
a regulation ranger can implement whatever rules they wish to, and often make up redundant, useless rules right on the fly.
“hey, you can’t wear a knife on your belt. it says so in the regs!”
“hey! you’re only allowed to lift weights after 1700, it was put out in the regs”
“you’re not allowed to take more than one pop-tart from cl-ss 1. it says somewhere in the regs!”
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