relationship test
1) n. a secret task or condition you place on a person who you’ve just started dating to evaluate whether or not that person is relationship material.
2) n. a detrimental, often self-destructive lie of great significance told to expose the true character of one’s partner. this is often done (ironically) in efforts to overcome one’s own fear of commitment or to sabotage the relationship. (see mind f-ck.)
3) n. the date during which one introduces one’s partner to one’s family for purposes of evaluating the long term viability of the relationship.
when matt goes on a first date with a chick, he opens her car door first and then walks around back. if she doesn’t reach over and unlock his door, she fails the relationship test ’cause she’s probably a selfish c-nt.
whenever claire needs to figure out if she wants to continue seeing some guy, she breaks out the, “i’m biologically male” relationship test. then she sits back and watches the sparks fly.
this is masturbation for a special purpose – to test physical attraction to a prospective significant other. while masturbating, you think of the other person. if you are able to finish with only this mental stimulation, then you can be satisfied that you are attracted to the person physically, independent of their personality or their feelings towards you. if you cannot get off, then a relationship with the person will likely fail, as you likely will not find them s-xually attractive.
last night i took the relationship test with meagan. it doesn’t look like we’re going to make it.
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