Revolutionary War

the war most american schoolkids have continuously hammered into their brains, without really understanding.

in brief and colloquial terms for slow-witted teens:

colonists were pretty p-ssed off at mama-san britain for the policies she created after the french & indian war, so toss in a sh-tload of taxes and acts, and you’ve got even more rage. colonists start getting bratty in regards to paying the taxes and obeying the acts they see as unfair, and british throw even more at the b-st-rds, without warning. now really angry, colonists start banding together thus boycotts and protests (think boston tea party) erupt. thomas paine steps in with “common sense” and says “hey, colonial dudes, independence from the brits = pretty sweet idea.” at first people call him insane, but soon enough the war begins. yada yada loyalists and patriots yada george iii. ben franklin goes to france and gets them to help the colonists out. brits first seem to take the lead. colonists eventually regain strength and topple brits in the end. july 4th, 1776 = declaration of independence, among other things, but hey man, the war was still going on when they wrote it. articles of confederation (american const-tution sr.) is pretty much the nail in the brit/colonial connection coffin.

voilà. a new nation.

note: i’m not a professor, so this of course is not some exact, blow-by-blow description of the war.
i hope you now change your definition of the revolutionary war, american. better cross out that “yeah, the british were like total d-cks, so we were like f-ck that, we’re america, so we fought ’em. wait, england = britain, right?”

🙂
the american revolution as some call it. but it’s the war where a bunch of american colonists with pitchforks beat down a billion british soldiers.
the definition is of course an exageration but thats the revolutionary war in a nutsh-ll.
the day that america broke it off with england because he wasn’t big enough.
america: …you wernt big enough -has a revolutionary war and wins- i shall break away, and show you how big i can be.
england: will you come back?
america: i shall, and i’ll f-ck you with it.

years later, england’s sucking on america’s ‘florida’
the only war great britain ever lost to the french ………
revolutionary war? f-ck that, we can’t fight the french on two fronts, f-ck it it’s only america, dump it so we can get on with kicking napoleon’s sh-tty little head in …………. we can always come back and set fire to the white house later ………
yes, britian won almost all of the battles, but they were defeated at the battles that actually meant anything. france helped yes, but in the end they gained nothing other than kicking britian in the d-ck. although this war could have been avoidable because it was started almost entirely because of samuel adams. adams led a secret groud that constantly tryed to start a revolution, it is beilved adams or one of his men fired the first shot at lexington. amusing.
although this war could very well have been an english victory, they were taking care of the napoleon wars. thus causing britian to lose this war.