right lane jackass
right lane jack-ss (n): refers to a driver in the right lane of a multilane street approaching an intersection where the light is red; and these four other conditions are present: 1) there is plenty of room to be in the middle lane, 2) the driver has no intention of turning right, 3) cars behind the rlj have their right blinkers on well in advance of the intersection in the hopes that the driver will notice and move to the other lane and allow them to turn right on red; however 4) the driver is clueless as to his or her surroundings.
optional criteria, not required for the definition, but frequently present: 1) drivers behind the rlj with their blinkers on appear p-ssed. 2) the intersection has an unusually long cycle time before the light turns green, 3) there is virtually no cross traffic. 4) the rlj’s car has its fuel door open, with the gas cap hanging out.
p-ssenger: “my contractions are getting closer together. you need to take a right at the next intersection to get to the hospital!”
driver: “keep breathing dear. i’ll just put my right turn signal on so that guy in front of us knows to pull to the left before the intersection so we don’t have to wait for that light.”
p-ssenger: “he’s not pulling over, he just stopped and blocked the right lane, and he’s not even turning. why would he do that?”
driver: “because he’s a right lane jack-ss and he’s clueless. better hold your legs closed, we may be here awhile”
Read Also:
- Rihham's Law
the “universal law of the universe” that states that you must always do the right thing, even if n-body or nothing is around to see it happen. you are meant to follow through with it even when no one else follows through with it. very few people in the universe follow it anymore. rihham’s law: […]
- safer sex
a term used by s-xually impulsive people pretending to be careful. similar to throwing the seatbelt across your lap, but not actually buckling it. always followed with the surprised protestation, upon learing that they have spread gonnorhea to every one they know: “but we were practicing safer s-x!” safer s-x: “i won’t use a condom, […]
- safvana
a beautiful, alluring indian girl who comes from saudi arabia. her beautiful kohl eyes and long, ravenous hair are tremendously attractive. she is sensitive and a wonderful friend. dude 1: look at the personality on that one. dude 2: dayum boy! she’s a total safvana!
- schwip
the act of -j-c-l-t-ng in a comical manner, usually the word is accompanied by an up and down hand motion and a hand in the person being told’s face. j-zz -j-c-l-t- skeet martin: yo dude, i’mma schwip on your face just like i did to your mom! davon: dude that’s just messed up bro. verb […]
- Shamecation
a vacation from a friend, activity, or location (e.g. bar, restaurant) due to committing a shame-inducing transgression (e.g. 86’d from a bar, making out with a friend’s spouse). typically lasts until one apologizes/settles the lawsuit to/with the aggrieved party. stan went on a shamecation from hanging out with kyle after getting inappropriately drunk at his […]