Rob Schneider

the greatest jewish comedian alive? uh, quite possibly! not… uh derp!
“heh-heh, rob schneider was an animal. then he was a woman. and now, rob schneider is — a stapler! and he’s about to find out — that being a stapler — is harder than it looks! rob schneider is — the stapler! rated pg-13.”

“heh-heh, rob schneider is a wall street executive, with everything going for him. only problem is — he’s about to become — a carrot! it’s 24-carrot comedy! rob schneider is — a carrot! rated pg-13.”

“heh-heh, rob schneider, derp dee derp! derp dee derpittee derpee derp! until one day, a derpa derpa durba derp! derp dee derp, — da teetley tum! from the creators of — der — and — tum ta t-ttaly tum terpa derp, rob schneider is — da derp dee derp da teetley derpee derpee dumb. rated pg-13.”
starred in movies such as “der” and “tum-ta-t-ttly tum-ta-too”, most recently starring in “da derp de derp de t-ttly derp de der de dum”
rob schneider was an animal, then, he was a hot chick, now, he’s a stapler!
the greatest comedian/actor of all time. he can play such characters as, an animal, a girl, a stapler, a carrot, durp de durp, and a gigolo….twice.
rob schneider is a stapler.
washed-up ex-snl actor whose apogee was doing the ‘making copies’ skits about a hundred years ago. the rest of his oeuvre is forgettable, or better yet, unwatched.
rob schneider was a 90’s concept that should have been left on the cutting room floor.
rob schneider obviously had 8×10 glossies of lorne michaels in a compromising position, otherwise he never would have gotten on snl, let alone into any of those ridiculous movies.
the unfunniest man on the planet. often takes jokes about 5 miles too far. frequents the radio show loveline, much to the dismay of its listeners
if i have to hear rob schneider on loveline one more time, i’m going to bash my skull in with my radio.
a man who makes stupid movies about him turning into something. examples include:

– a woman

– an animal

– a carrot

– a stapler

– kenny
i woke up one morning and for some reason had turned into a velociraptor. i pulled a rob schneider

my rob schneider ran out of staples so i had to fold the edge on my essay
the ultimate career killer to any celebrity co-staring in his mediocre movie(s). if you’re a movie star, and want to end your fame, star in his next flick.

scneider could be the least funny guy i know.
rob schneider could be the least funny guy i know.

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