Rockhurst

jesuit high school located in on the missouri-kansas state line (on the missouri side) in kansas city..

famous for a nationally ranked athletics programs- specifically excelling in football, soccer, tennis, and golf..

a place that can be recognized again and again for outstanding academics.. even with a 1000 student enrollment with a minority rate of over 10%, rockhurst owns the second highest average act scores in the entire kansas city area. the only school higher is 1/3 the sized and twice the admission fee (barstow)

for being an all male school, rockhurst guys continuously are har-ssed my people from the in city schools- specifically shawnee mission school district- for being “gay”.. it is usually the only “fact” that they can come up with to counter state champion arguments.. also.. rockhurst boys have two all girls schools- saint teresas and sion- at their disposal to go along with pretty much every public school in kansas.. great ratio

rockhurst is commonly accused for recruiting 7th and 8th grade boys.. this is 100 percent not true.. rockhurst does not go find athletes, but athletes go find rockhurst.. why would anyone who is serious about playing football in college waste their time in the kansas football district?? they wouldnt.. its not the rocks fault that they get all the talent ever..
smeast kid- “hey rockhurst dude.. your gay!”

rockhurst guy- “stop bothering me im too busy stealing your girls and winning state t-tles”

smeast kid- “whatever dude… ur gay”
you know you go to rockhurst when:

a majority of your friends are from kansas city, omaha or st. louis.
you get tired of people saying, “rockhurst? isn’t that a highschool?”
you complain about walking from corcoran to mcgee.
you’ve been written up.
chipotle is your best friend.
you think the jesuits are the coolest priests ever.
you are a business or science major.
you knew your admissions counselor personally.
you have at least one for your professor’s home phone numbers.
you’ve had a delicious oreo twister from jane in the pub.
you frequent mike’s, the brooksider,charlie hooper’s and harpo’s.
you’ve been to harlings at least once.
you b-mmed meal points off a freshman.
you slept walked to an 8 am cl-ss.
you consider jeans dressed up.
sweatpants are a way of life.
you had a snowball fight on lower burke.
you can’t walk across campus without seeing someone you know.
you know you have to get at least 2 large cups every time you go to the cafeteria.
you went sledding behind the baseball field.
you complain about the lack of healthy options in the cafeteria.
you know the 2nd floor of mcgee is haunted and you have stories.
you are friends with a rocko.
you cried when zaps burned down and rejoiced when it reopened.
you didn’t read the orientation book.
you went to catholic school.
you had at least one night cl-ss and hated it.
you know the stigma of organic chemistry and any sociology cl-ss.
you’ve done the walk of shame.
you’ve “saved the br–sts.”
the drama in your life is just as bad as high school.
you’ve had something beat you to the breakfast table.
you love sab’s $3 movie night.
you know forrest, virginia and tracy are where to go on the weekends.
you think sedgwick should be condemned.
you have hung out with fr. curran at homecoming, a foam party, in the caf or at your house.
you know the help desk is no help.
4010 is your friend.
you go to the art openings for free booze.
you wonder what a real frat house is like.
the box only means one thing.
you wonder where they keep the paper and toner for the printers.
you have -ssigned tables in the cafeteria.
you laugh at the 6 pack rule.
quiet hours in corcoran don’t exist.
you’ve been sent home from a dance.
you hear the trash truck at 4am.
every time you go to price chopper you see at least 3 rockhurst students.
no cl-sses on friday are awesome.
you’ve fought over the term “pop” vs. “soda.”
the rdn helped you get through cl-ss.
you wish you could shop at the plaza, but have no money.
you have fallen asleep in the rock room.
you wear more mu, ku or nebraska clothes than rockhurst.
you know we have been undefeated in football since 1949.
your high school has more spirit than your college.
you wish the pub still served beer.
you’ve never been to a rockhurst sporting event.
paul nunez planned your life as soon as you went business.
m-ssman 1.
you got lost during “where to go in kcmo.”
wireless internet helped you get through cl-ss.
you partied with your ra.
the campus ministry staff knows everyone’s name even if you don’t do anything with them.
you played in the fountains and got a cold.
you have a theology or philosophy minor.
you wait for a rocko for more than 10 mins when you need them, but when you have done something wrong they are there in less than 2.
you know that it’s the science center, aka the building formerly known as richardson.
i am majoring in business at rockhurst.
rockhurst is the most prestigious college in kansas city.
didn’t you know that all the cool kids go to rockhurst?
the jesuit preparatory high school in kansas city.
that ceo attended rockhurst high.
a prestigious high school in the kansas city area. rockhurst guys get all the ladies especially from sion and st. teresa’s. rockhurst has the second highest act test scoring in the kansas city school district, falling shortly behind barstow, a school located a few minutes away. rockhurst is known around the region for it’s state championships in football, soccer, and swimming. students from other school around rockhurst (especially st. thomas aquinas) try to call rock students “f-gs” but this is just because of their insecurity and the fact that rockhurst has more state t-tles.

however, rockhurst is not perfect. the basketball program is very political and you will either make the team because of a) you have a famous relative or b) the basketball coaches want you for your height and strength. rockhurst does not value the skill of their basketball players. rather, they select their players so they can out rebound other teams and score down low. rockhurst teams have no skill and the head coach will cut you from the team if you don’t play how they want you to, which is to drive and p-ss the ball to the post. they don’t care if you are a michael jordan, they won’t take you if you don’t meet their qualifications.
guy1: hey bro, you go to rockhurst?
guy2: yea.. (thinks, why is this aquinas kid talking to me?)
guy1: f-ggot.
guy2: keep telling yourself we’re f-ggots. you mad because all the girls like us and we are better academically and athletically.
a private, all male high school located in kansas city, missouri. if you are an outstanding athlete from the ages of 8-14, chances are rockhurst will be trying to somehow get you to come play for their high school in one sport of another. the school is strategically located on the border of kansas and missouri for two reasons.
1.)they can be located as close to the middle of the city as possible.
2.)they can pay cheaper taxes in missouri.
i hate rockhurst, they take all the best players…yet somehow manage to blow more state t-tle runs than any school in the missouri.