sail cat

a dessicated and totally flat cat that has spent a few months lying in the road. when scr-ped up and thrown, it sails like a frisbee.
there’s a great sail cat in the makin’ down on dongbuster road. we should go and get it some evening.
a cat that has been run over so many time, you can pick him up and sail him like a frizbee.
” yesterday a highway pizza, today a sail cat.”
once an ordinary cat, sailcat was turned into a super invincible cat by sp-ce radiation whilst hunting a mouse one night by a highway. soon after he became invincible, he was run down by a semi truck in the p-ssing lane of the highway, but he lived through the horrific incident.
shortly after he was flattened, some kids came along and found sailcat pancaked to the road. they then picked him up and threw him like a frisbee into the night sky, thus beginning the legend.
from that day forward, sailcat was the feared and revered protector of all living things wishing to cross freeways.
the legend of sailcat

there’s danger out on the nations’ roads
they’re paved with snakes and flattened toads,
and truckers drive in rigs so big
they can flatten a cow, or a horse, or a manatee!
and those who survive are a lucky few,
but there’s one brave cat who made it through
and i’m here to tell the tale to you of sailcat.

sailcat? sailcat!

he was huntin’ for mouse to feed his face,
when strange radiation from outer sp-ce
turned him into a super invincible cat!
when a truck ran him down with a hideous splat!
ah, he couldn’t be killed, but he still could be squished
and he lay in the p-ssing lane shakin’ his fist
then some kids helped him fly with a flick of the wrist
and that was the birth of sailcat.

sailcat. sailcat.

he chased after that truck like a buzz saw unleashed,
and he sliced it in two like a knife through a peach
one truck half took the high road, the other the low
and the message went out on cb radio:
“breaker, breaker, lookout, watch your back
be afraid there’s a frisbee-like cat who’s a mighty sharp blade.”
so the feared and revered reputation was made of sailcat.

sailcat. sailcat.

he’s been known to chop redwoods and stop a whole fleet
when a family of tape worms was crossing the street
and when mom’s having troubles with thanksgiving plans,
he has even dropped by to help open some cans
or when someone’s depressed and has had a bad day
he unerringly knows just the right things to say:
“don’t worry, cow. people love you because you’re big and fat and ugly.
go with it!”
then he’ll ask for a toss, and be on his way
he’s sailcat.