Sailor

the sailors of the united states navy are among the most disciplined, devoted, and well-trained fighting men the world has ever known. they drink gasoline and p-ss fire, the spit bullets and sh-t bombs, and will swim across the ocean with a knife in their teeth just for the chance to carve up those that threaten their homeland.

modern day sailors leave wakes of dead bodies or smoldering craters wherever they go. they are sneaky sons of b-tches, and usually the only thing that lets you know they are present is the earsplitting howl of an incoming tomahawk missile, or the cold steel of an oil-slick blade slicing through your throat.

rumor has it that sailors are rowdy drunks. this is absolutely true. no other branch of the service can stand up to the fury of a us sailor’s binge drinking. the coast guard spills their wine, the air force wets themselves, the army p-sses out, and the marine corps bitterly sit alone at the bar muttering bad gay jokes to themselves.

there is a rivalry between the us marine corps and the us navy. this is the result of the quant-ty of beautiful exotic women that sailors make love to every time they pull into a foreign port. the marines are jealous of this, because they only get to f-ck ali-babba and his goats. there are no fine women out in the desert. the marines spread lies about sailors, calling them cowardly or h-m-s-xual, but never to their faces, that is unwise.

don’t f-ck with us navy sailors.

honor, courage, commitment.
hooya navy
foreigner one: hey! an american warship ship just pulled into port!

foreigner two: oh sh-t, sailors! hide the women and the booze!
what hookers often call a potential customer.
hey sailor, looking for a good time?
1. a hard working member of the united states navy
2. accused of being gay by f-ggot -ss marine and army soldiers (see also bullet sponge)
3. persons who after spending much time at sea sleep with women in many different ports (see also prost-tutes)
4. someone who gets more tail than anyone could possibly imagine
“see him? that’s the 8th girl tonight, what a sailor!”
“my friend joe just worked a 48 hour day, what a sailor”
someone who uses profanity often in their speech; especially when angered or in a bad mood.
my friend randy’s a sailor. you should see him when he plays golf: “that f-ckin’ golf ball just won’t f-ckin’ get in that f-ckin’ hole!”
a person who sails the oceans. this word is used to replace the word “seaman”, the latter word sounding suspiciously like a certain viscous bodily fluid.
uh, john, don’t call mr. davidenko a “seaman”, call him a “sailor”. “seaman” doesn’t sound so nice.
a beautiful girl with captivating dark eyes, a contagious smile and wild curly hair. her grin, sometimes ornery, but always enjoyable, her giggles so completely adorable. she is as sweet as cupcake and soft as kitten. she is pure preciousness from the top of her head, past her b-tton nose and right down to her pink polished toes. if you ever have the pleasure of meeting this lovely little lady, you will then understand what i mean, when i say she is a rose.
the girl is so fresh, she’s like an ocean breeze, warm like a summer sunset and as wild as the seas, she must be a sailor.
a jolly good old time where heteros-xual men take a bubble bath together wearing paper sailor hats. playing with rubby duckies, squirt guns, boats and action figures are not necessary, but highly encouraged.
hey dude, want to come over and play sailors?

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