Santorum Claus
a rick santorum impersonator in a santa claus suit who breaks into little boys’ rooms at night when they’re sleeping. however, instead of leaving them presents, he does them up the b-tt, leaving the mix of lube, c-m, and fecal matter known as santorum on the boy’s sheets.
little boy: aaaahh! daddy what’s this brown and white stuff on my sheets?!
dad: don’t worry son. that just means santorum claus came to visit you last night!
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