Sassafrassquatch
1. an imaginary creature that’s existence is brought about by partaking in “juicy” mushrooms as verified by jb in “the pick of destiny”. he’s much like sasquatch but can talk (with a speech impediment), has the ability to fly, guards shiny diamonds in the misty mountain side, and overall looks like he should shout “shake-n-bake” at any moment while giving a heart fist b-mp. he also plays drums, but unfortunately the d just can’t be a power trio. in an epic battle, recounted by the spiderman song, between s-ss and spiderman, spidey tries to use his web on him but it can’t hold him because of a matrix move. during the subsequent the brawl a man becomes memberless, one thing leads to another, and sas leaves behind something resembling coffee creamer.
2. a large animal that’s often seen lurking around southern utah university in select buildings. if you see him approach slowly and offer him a snack, conversation can then be made without too much of a risk of bodily harm.
1. “stay still, it’s f—ing s-ssafr-ssquatch. i’ve been searchin’ for him for ten years and now’s my chance to capture him. i’m not moving, oh f—!” -jb “spiderman”
2. justin: “quite, there’s s-ssafr-ssquatch!’
kc: “wait, i have some jerky. let’s go talk to him.”
justin: “sasquatch eats jerky, don’t you watch tv?”
kc: “they’re the same thing!”
justin: “no they aren’t! sas is like sasquatch but totally
kick-ss and he prefers skittles!”
sas: “dude, i love skittles! so what about those
t-birds huh?”
the better cooler version of sasquatch.
jack black’s real father is s-ssafr-ssquatch.
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