Scan Monkey
any lowly employee in a retail big box store. commonly seen wearing colored polo shirts with name tags and khaki pants, carrying some sort of portable barcode scanning apparatus, such as a scan gun. usual habitats include, but are not limited to: walmart, target, best buy, old navy, shoe carnival, and at one time, blockbuster video. the scan monkey is well-known for its constant screeches of sarcasm and p-ssive-aggressive tendencies, particularly towards figures of authority and their customers.
approach one at your own risk, preferably while baring gifts of candy… or caffeine.
jimmy: let’s see, i’m 30 now and i’ve worked at walmart, blockbuster, hot topic, krogers, best buy, sears, and now i’m doing a nickel as an -ssistant guest services specialist over at rent-a-center.
kevin: so in other words, you’ve been nothing but a professional scan monkey your whole adult life?? -snort-
jimmy: eat my -rs-, b-tt munch!!
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