Schuylkill

1. a river in southeast pennsylvania, dividing philadelphia into west philly and center city. it’s a tributary of the delaware.

2. the schuylkill expressway, or i-76, also known as the sure-kill expressway. an entirely inadequate, dangerous road that connects philadelphia with the western suburbs and the pennsylvania turnpike. expect delays at any given hour, often for no apparent reason. traffic will suddenly slow to 20mph so that drivers can gape at a bit of interesting debris on the side of the road.

note: no one from outside the region can pr-nounce the name of the river. it’s not shooey-el-kill. it’s not skully-kill. say “skoo-kul”, or “skool-kill”, to be proper. blame some explorer from the dutch east india company who could barely find the thing and called it schuyl kil, or “hidden creek”.
the eastbound schuylkill’s backed up at the conshohocken curve, with a gaper delay slowing things down from montgomery to girard.
6 more definitions
the best place in all the world.
schuylkill county is g-d’s country.
a freeway (carrying i-76) from the walt whitman bridge to king of prussia that is congested, obsolete, and dangerous. also, any stretch of highway where the speed limit is used more as a “minimal” speed as opposed to a maximum and has tight hairpin curves that people try to imitate mario andretti on.
once on the schuylkill expressway, i saw an accident in the middle lane (guy was cut-off), but people drove around him at high speeds like it was more of a road cone than a distressed motorist.
1.a small sh-thole county deep in the appalachin mountains sparcely populated by hillbillies, trailer park trash and shoppers from walmart and dollar stores in the region.
2.describing any residential area with more trailers than houses and front lawns with tied up dogs that stink and sh-t from the tied up dog that stinks.
3.any one who refuses the care of a dentist.
4.one who uses slang terms such as “yous guys”, “ain’t”, “frickin'”, etc. etc.
5.an adjective used to describe anyone who has the coolest fashions from 5 years ago in other counties.
6.where the people are obese
7.anyone who spends atleast fifteen hours a day hunting, fishing, watching nascar, or p-ssing out in a bar.
8.an area populated by a majority of people needing “special” attention in
school
9.any place where every house or trailer or shack contains a rifle and a large amount of booze. thank you nra! oh yeah, such households will also have a gigantic collection of deer heads hanging on the walls.
10.the only area that holds the largest supply of dollar stores, stinky fried food, and mullets but also has the smallest amount of teeth. i am also sad to say that the true skooks are very, very proud of this… -shuttering-
yous guys gots to get schuylkill and come watch some nascar while smokin pot and drinkin beers with me!
the epitome of the pennsylvania highway disaster. always jammed with cars, carrying dumb-ss philadelphians, that slow to a crawl to look a piece of tire, or dead groundhog on the side of the road.
man 1: hey! what’s the f-ckin problem? move your g-d-d-mn pieceash-t so i can get ta work!

man 2: hey! shut the f-ck up back there! there’s a f-ckin rock on the side of the road!

man 1: woah, sorry buddy, didn’t know it was that major.
the name of the river next to franklin field in philadelphia that was mispr-nounced several times as the “skullykill” river
yo look, there’s a dead body floatin down the schuykill
prounounced: scoo-kyll

1) to move stealthily
2) to move clumsily
3) to look into someone’s eyes lovingly
i schuylkilled around the dark corner trying not to get caught.

too bad i schuylkill everywhere, maybe if i stopped i would stop falling.

the boy schuylkilled into his girlfriend’s eyes