Schweggman
a young male h-m- sapien that is capable of drinking incredible amounts of alcohol at any time, in any setting. often confused for an alcoholic, a schweggman is simply maintaining its proper blood alcohol level (somewhere between .12 and .16). without this level maintained, a schweggman can become irritable and utter racist and/or s-xist comments at any time – users beware.
a schweggman is typically found in a festive environment, such as a tailgate, house party, or checker’s at 4:00 am. he typically will be carrying a handle of jailor serry, a bag of barbeque, or a packet of new sheets. in the most dangerous of situations, he will have all three.
if you encounter a schweggman, offer a sacrifice of alcohol and refrain from quick movements. a sufficiently intoxicated schweggman can only see movement, and will move on if not startled.
“dude, i had 5 double jailor serry shots and then 4 pitchers of beer last night. lets get started again!”
“you’re a regular schweggman man, i don’t know how you do it.”
“my grandma gave me three livers broseph, i drink alcohol like a camel drinks water.”
“wicked dude, you should think about selling one of those on the black market”
“word. i could buy more jailor with that cash. schweggman onward!”
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