scissor me timbers
a phrase used in a south park episode where mr. or ms. garrison explored being a lesbian. garrison was in bed with another woman “scissoring” (in which two women inter-lock each others legs for s-xual arrousal). it is at this time that garrison becomes excited and says “oh yeah scissor me timbers!!!”.
lesbian: “i haven’t gotten a piece of -ss in a while i really wish somebody would scissor me timbers.”
a variation of “shiver me timbers,” a common pirating term, screamed by women during lesbian lovemaking. the term refers to their interlocking legs, which are often spread at an angle similar to open scissors.
“how does this double headed d-ld- feel, lesbian lover?”
“scissor me timbers!”
the act of two females scissoring while a male is underneath with his p-n-s up between their v-g-n-‘s.
i caught an early flight home and walked in on my wife scissoring some chick, to which i replied “hmmmm… perhaps this would be a good time to scissor me timber!”
1. a phrase known as an activity of s-xual satisfaction amongst an -ssemblage of lady pirates.
2. the female attempt to dismember a man’s p-n-s from his body by utilizing the unyielding strength of her l-b–l lips.
i.e. sever me timbers
lady pirates? scissor me timbers? get it?
arrrgh! as she wrapped her legs about his torso with the force of one-thousand seahorse, her lips opened like the fearsome kraken to disarm the man of his weary vessel. “scissor me timber,” he shouted in vain, “if i weren’t still coming i would feel wretched pain!”
referring to the s-xual postion for lesbains”scissoring”
scissor me timbers we’re scissoring!
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