Scotland, Ontario
scotland, ontario (a.k.a the land of opportunity) is one of those quaint little towns outside of toronto that n-body cares about like burford or harley, but don’t get scotland and burford mixed up cuz we scotlanders are nothing like the kids from that dirt hole! no, scotland is miles above burford, and in the heart of the city is our pride and joy…… dukes variety store/lcbo/pizzeria, where all of your wildest dreams can come true. it is your one stop shop for everything from a bag of chips, to a carton of eggs for your b-st-rd neighbours house, and also if your lonely, you might be able to strike up a deal with the cashier in order to go to the back room and choose from the wide selection of erotic p-rnographic films. some of the attractions in scotland are for the prime biking spots all around, in fact if you are a kid in scotland and do not bike around in one of the various biking gangs around town you may get your b-lls hacked off. the two main things kids do around scotland when the sun goes down is, smoke a big bowl of weed behind harry’s tiny -ss restaurant/bar and go eggin’. soooo, thats life in the isolated town of scotland for the poor deprived child born and raised here, cuz once your in you dont have a shot in h-ll of gettin out. scotland: the best d-mn town in the whole world. just jokes scotlands a sh-t hole, no different from the rest of the hick towns of ontario.
man, the best night of my life was hangin out at harrys open jam on a friday evening after coughin’ up a lung out back while rippin a bowl, and then running half naked from the guy whose porch i sh-t on. only in scotland, ontario!
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