Scranton

the largest city in northeastern pennsylvania, with a population of 76,415 recorded during the 2000 census. scranton was a boomtown in the late 1800s/early 1900s with the dawn of the coal and iron industries. scranton fell on hard times after world war ii after demand for coal dropped sharply, and has been losing population at a steady rate ever since. nowadays, scranton is filled with many nice, hardworking people. it is also home to numerous drug dealers from philadelphia and new york, who come to scranton because they can’t make it in the big cities. scranton is also filled with an amazing amount of -ssholes who do nothing but complain about how much scranton sucks and there is nothing to do here. local officials often tout scranton for its interstates providing easy access to new york, philadelphia, boston, washington, d.c., everywhere. perhaps the negative -ssholes should hop on the highway and f-ck off.
if you don’t like living in scranton, do something to fix it. if you’re not going to fix it, shut the f-ck up. if you’re not going to shut the f-ck up, then leave.
scranton is a smaller city with nothing to do except when you create your own fun like lighting yourself on fire or doing drugs. its a place to underage drink and play pool and a place where the potholes are as big as our ppl..we have coal and trains…and thats scranton
scranton: where the trains come to die
home of the fictional “dunder-mifflin” paper company, from the hit show “the office”
the scranton branch has the lowest productivity in the entire company!
this is the city that once was great, then sucked,and is now trying to not suck even though it is an extremely difficult task. scranton is beginning to see changes in diversity, but not changes in lifestyle. the average scranton lifestyle includes consuming 4 plus quarts of yuengling, eating food that leg drops your arteries, and smoking pot to forget that your are in scranton, which has nothing to do for fun besides drivining around. the kids at the university suck -ss. if they aren’t good natured townies, they are stuck up rich pr-cks from new york, long island, and jersey. g-d i hate being home unless i have access to a car, which is scranton’s strongest feature: good location. not too far from nyc of philly, scranton also has tons of quickly accesible roads that have little to no police force. also the locals are fairly easy to take advantage of.
average scranton day:
wake up, put on sweat suit, eat cold pizza from last night, watch tv, take out rage on someone, meet up with people you don’t particularly like until your drunk…
scranton is a city in north-east pa that is, and the only way to describe it, f-cked up. built on coal when that sh-t is what people used to keep from dying and heat their homes in the winter (even uppity f-cks from nyc who think they are a self sufficient planet and could secede from the universe)but has fallen on hard times as has the industry. the people who live there have been festering resentment at everybody while at the same time trying to maintain their dignity and history. also, it is close to nyc and philly so intelligent and entrepreneurial criminals set up shop there to take advantage of the situation. what does this mean, scranton has idiosycrancies that are both cool and weird. is so f-cked up that it cannot be compared legitimately to any other city. and is a place where some kind old granny will fry you up a batch of pierogies with mangoes (green peppers in scranton) if you ask her nicely, or some meth head will shank your spleen for the last of your warm beer. was the home of the molly maguires, the original gang who f-cked up sh-t old school. google it sometime.
the urban planning in scranton is thus: church, bar, church, church, bar, crackhouse, university, bar, church, bar.
often referred to as the armpit of america, scranton is a gray town, peppered with lush trees, an overabundance of bars, churches, and pizza parlors. what makes this barely thriving town so unique is the time-warped mindset of the natives. there are 5 parts, the north side, which is often ignored, as its residents are nothing to write home about, the south side, whose heroin supply keeps all the local junkies in check, the east side, also known as the hillsection, which was once the neighborhood of the rich and fabulous coal breakers, but has since become a melting pot of the minorites, the poor, and the bourgeoisies, and lest we forget, the west side, a wretched place saturated with overzealous christianity and ged-toting sc-mbags. green ridge rounds out the lot as the most appealing section. green ridge is nestled away from all the grime, with its sprawling mansions, its top notch schools, and its genetically blessed inhabitants. now, don’t let the appearance of green ridge fool you. the worst kind of sc-mbags hail from this verdant stretch, the rich ones. all in all, scrantonites can agree on one thing. sure, the impoverished aren’t going to be sitting down to dinner with the wealthy, but that’s not to say they wouldn’t have a few drinks with them…because remember, in scranton, there’s always a bar nearby a church, as long as you don’t mind walking a block.
i’m not from scranton, i’m from green ridge.
a place that is still far enough from philly and ny and also large enough to have its own home-grown customs, many of them charming and an equal many maddening. scranton is the largest of 40 or so unique towns in northeastern pa where each town is like one of the city states that existed before unification of italy, germany, or greece.
he’s not really a dummy, he’s just from scranton.