secondary school

the english (and therefore better) version of high school
welcome to the remainder of compulsory education. uniforms, cr-p jamie oliver school lunches, harder work, and students who seriously lack individuality. if your lucky you will get 1 no uniform day a year and you need to pay to wear your own clothes. school lunches will be served by old women who’s only other option is a pension and the dole. 1st year students will cause chaos since there in ‘big school’ and feel somehow more important than the other 1000 or so in school. highlights include fire alarms being set off, bank holiday monday’s and trips. teachers who complain about their wages, or lack of and think we give a sh-t, some of us do, some teachers are great, but they are few and far between. my best friend lost her virginity at 13 and gets drunk most weekends, started smoking at 11 and is constantly in detention. my friend, lets just call her ‘b’ cuts herself, talks about suicide and takes overdoses so she can be sick, fall asleep and get out of p.e, another girl who is popular and really pretty, her mum died when she was young lets call her ‘c’, has tonnes of mates but gets drunk and cuts herself, sleeps with boys. she’s really drunk and regrets it the next day. another girl, ‘d’, mum + dad is a teacher and the pressure on her to do well is overwhelming, jokingly she gives a cheeky reply to her father ‘yeah yeah’, grounded for a month. high school is sugar-coated, they can make pretty uniforms, they can build new schools but teenagers will always be the same.
teacher = ‘ok everyone, do the starter questions, i need to begin a cl-ss because there teacher isn’t here, we will check the answers when we get back’

cl-ss = -quiet-
teacher = -walks down corridor-

cl-ss = -lots of talking- ‘jessica is stacy really?’ ‘have you seen the new episode of’ ‘ah ha ha!’ -jumps on table- ‘shut the f-ck up you mongo heggy!’

1 girl = -shhish! she’s coming-

everyone else = ‘shut up! she’s coming’ ‘shhish!!’

one really loud person = ‘shissssh!’
everyone else = -glares-

1 minute later they realise she’s not coming

everyone = ‘ahh’ -frustrated sigh’ -continue to speak random stuff-

me = who wants gum??

everyone = ‘me!!’ ‘can i have some pleeease!!’ ‘you’ll be my best friend’

me = ‘go on, take the whole f-cking thing! have a field day why don’t you?’

me = -working on starter questions-
them = -quarrelling over gum-

teacher = -walks in- -see’s boy on desk and lots of people trying to get chewing gum-

teacher = ‘i can’t leave you for 5 minutes! unbelievable! the amount of cheek! your like little nursery children! the other teachers were complaining about the amount of noise’

teacher = -looks at us doing work- -looks at the rest of the cl-ss- ‘i bet you haven’t even started those questions! lack of respect, oh and heggy, go to the year head, oh and don’t forget this punishment’
us = -sn-gg-ring-
teacher = ‘these people are an example you should all follow!, now get on with your work’

this is what secondary school cl-sses are like
sure, it’s british and scottish and maybe even irish, but in canada we call it secondary school too. it comes after elementary school and middle school, and in more eastern provinces, junior secondary.

usually grades 9-12, or 8-12, 7-12, etc. sometimes too.

the equivalent of high school in the usa, secondary school is under-funded and under-staffed. buying lunch is optional, and most people are forced to eat outside in all weather conditions because the cafeteria has around 10 tables. it’s all catered but is very expensive to buy and not healthy at all. no uniforms or dress code unless people start dressing really risqué, and even then, there’s probably no funding to make the uniforms so everyone just wears what they want. the teachers are nice on their good days and terrible on every other day but constantly hint at their small pay-cheques. our electronics constantly get stolen and we have to get the rcmp in there nearly every day to arrest somebody. no homework because the teachers are too underfunded to get toner for the copier, and you usually end up sharing four to a textbook. it’s terrible, really. the only thing we do is watch youtube videos on the projectors.
two students are eating lunch outside in -10 celsius conditions.

student 1: “today we had to do a science experiment with a voltmeter but the thing didn’t work so we had to sit and watch it done on youtube.”

student 2: “what do you want, that’s secondary school for ya.”
uk equivilant of high school in the usa, and some other countries.

ages range from 11-18 (years 7-13). most students leave after their gcse’s in year 11 to go to college or start working, others stay on in school and do the more harder a-levels in sixth form (year 12/13), which most then go onto university.
as much as i hate secondary school, i realize i need to succeed in it to do what i want in the future.
not english, actually scottish – so clearly better than an english comprehensive or grammar school. a secondary school is a place where young folk are tied into chairs and forced to learn hamlet, macbeth, the periodic table, pythagoras’ theorem and the formation of rivers! sweet!
scottish secondary schools are among the best in the world