Serbia

a loyal and brave country that is widely misunderstood as a bad guy for some strange reason. not perfect, but certainly not evil. they have a rich culture and a very unique language, as well as very intellectual people (however, out of all those smart ones, it’s usually the dumb ones that are placed in positions of power). serbia consists of many people who’s pride matters most, and they seldom (for a lack of better term) take sh-t from anyone, and even though sometimes they are no match, they still keep their ground. serbia is a beautiful country, with beautiful women. however, it’s currently going through a lot of cr-p, which is a d-mn shame.
kraljevic marko is by far one of the most bad-ss heroes ever!

flag of serbia
you know ur serbian when…
when you pack to go for serbia and out of the 4 suitcases you are carrying, only one of them is actually yours
when 3 different strangers are waiting for you at the airport to collect their gifts that you are carrying with you
when you tell people you are serbian, they always ask… „so … what is it like there now?”
you live in the adult world but when you go home, you feel like your 9 years old all over again
when you can actually pr-nounce the „g” in jagnje
when you’re at a soccer game and your tata is yelling „j—- ja” at the whole team and all the „amerikanci” know it can’t be a good thing
your parents tell you that „gurlz” love guys that can dance a good kolo
if your not married by the age of 20 your family wants to send you back home to find “a nice boy”
you have more than 200 serbian movies, but you have never watched them
you have a good husband if he works and doesn’t beat you
at your christening a silver dollar on your navel will protect you from evil and make you rich
baba says „palach-nki” and everyone heads for the table
when she is mad your mama tells you that she will send you back to where you came from
when your tata does a running commentary through a movie and he thinks he knows everything that’s going to happen even though he has never seen the movie
there is always „pita” on the kitchen counter and multiple pita dough bundles in your freezer at all times
after cooking pita, you eat it for dinner, breakfast, lunch and dinner
your parents don’t expect you to make good grades, as long as they are better than everybody else’s
your tata yells at you „budala, neznas ništa!” when you tell him that the crowd isn’t yelling „divac”, they are actually yelling „defense” during the sacramento kings game regardless if they are home or away
seeing an animal’s brain in the fridge doesn’t freak you out
your mom or baba only use two settings on the stove: max or off
when you call santa „deda mraze”
when you mom or grandma tells you to pee before you go outside
when the only family u have here is your mom dad and siblings
you use the words brat i sestra for your brother and sister and for your
cousins
you coverted the garage into a kitchen just to feed all the family and guest that showed
when your tata chases the pigeons off the balcony with a mop, then sits down and says „dayll be back”
when tata allways „amma yoy”
when everyone always turns over their cup after drinking tursku kafu even though they know there is no one to tell them their fortune.
when your tata is looking at an old photo alb-m and sees himself young and says „jao sto sam bio frajer” and ur mom tells him „molim te nemoj da s…š!”
your parents spend hours talking about the best djubre for the vegetables
your deda tells you that his family were the wealthiest in the village because they owned two cows and a donkey
when you go on holiday, you take the same suitcase that your dad had with him when he arrived in the country over 30 years ago
you are named after your ujko, stric, tata or deda
your mother keeps buying and sending you clothes long after you have grown up and left home
you are the only race that suffers from promaja
when tata goes to any professional and says sta on zna, nema pojma
you know you’re a serb when your parents yell „kakva je ta skola” when you cannot complete their tax returns while you’re in the third grade.
you tell your friends that you love sipak (rosehip) jam and they have no idea what it is
you know ur a serb

if ur reading this list and cracking up
one of the few non-collaborationist countries in the balkans during world war ii, offered stiff resistance to the n-z-‘s and paid a dear price for it.
serbia lost its moral high ground over its neighbors after the break up of yugoslavia.
a country that has a great and proud people. due to the horrible american propaganda and one-sided stories, the world has come to hate it. serbs are usually very well educated and don’t all live in the kinds of places portrayed by the media. most of serbia is very modern, filled with beautiful buildings, streets and parks. people who are against serbia are (99% of the time) very ignorant and quite frankly not very bright. remember, not everything you see on tv is true.
person a: “man serbia is teh sux1!1!11! lolololol

person b: “you’re a dumb-ss”
a country with good people, but -sshole sh-tty politicians
serbia would be a great country if milosevich didn’t exist.
look guys whats all the hatin about man! serbian, bosnian, croat we’re all the same sh-t! im serbian and proud of it but i dont discriminate others! i mean its just stupid how the people all hate each other cuz of politics. f-ck politics man! we’re all people and we all used to live in the same country once and now we dont but that shouldnt make us hate each other. serbia consists of mostly serbs but also bosnians and croats. serbia is a beautiful, full w/ fine babies and crazy country. biggest sport in serbia: basketball. a little corupt, yes, but lotsa love for serbia man.
“wait which country won the most basketball championships in the world?”
“i believe it was serbia(yugoslavia)”

“ok…but which country was the one w/ the horrible civil war?”
“serbia(yugoslavia)”

“and the crazy -ss milosevic is serbian right?”
“yeh thats correct”

“and the women…?”
“the women, my friend, are the highlight of serbia”
beautiful land w/ unfortunate political and social touble. was yugoslavia .. became serbia & montenegro .. who knows what new name will be.. but for sure has the most beautiful and fit women! .. tall population.. need to stop conflicts w/ own nation and those surrounding
right between greece and italy is serbia

←