shart attack

that sudden bolt of fear and regret when you realize your fart was actually a wet sh-t, aka a shart.

the attackee often slides his/her hand into her shorts for confirmation.
“last night you totally could have made out with that chick. why’d you bail?”
“dude, i was gonna float an air bisquit…. but i swear i felt some fluid in there. i had a shart attack and had to pull the ripcord before i fully sh-t my pants.”
a shart attack is what occurs when multiple sharts take place. you shart once, but figure that the chances of it happening again so soon are infinitesimal, so you fart again. and guess what, it’s a shart. this, however, is only a double shart. a full blown shart attack is when the subject is stupid enough to do it more than twice in a row without repairing the situation (new underwear, shower, etc.).
he thought for sure that it couldn’t happen three times in a row, but lo and behold, he was having a shart attack.
false alarm diarrhea when you’re on the john, it waits until you trust a fart and then it skids your boxers. (common causes: hangover food, greasy food, too much beer the night before)
dude 1: hey man that was a killer night at the bar! wanna go play some golf in a bit?
dude 2: can’t bro, i think i’m having a shart attack!

dude 1: what?

dude 2: yeah man, i can’t trust a fart! i’ve been on the john all morning and skidded three pair of boxers.
when someone freaks out so much for some reason that they shart in their pants leaving it all soggy.
dude when that bus almost hit me i had a major shartattack, i got to go home.
when your sudden urge to p-ss gas in light colored pants is accompanied by a wet, warm stain in your seat.
john: nate,man,the worse thing happened on the way to work today

nate: dude, bring it.

john: i suffered a debilitating shart attack and had to go home to change my pants- so i took the day off and went to the golf course.
a series of rapid sharts, usually in public, like at a party, work, or school.
“dude, i just ate seven chili-dogs. i feel like im going to have a shart-attack”
“im as serious as a shart-attack”
“that guy at the party last night, had a serious shart-attack. he had cr-p all over his pants”
shart fart sh-t p–p party accident
that tingling sensation you get in your legs as a consequence of sitting on the toilet for too long, similar to tingling one might get in their arms as a warning of an incoming heart attack.
“man, that was an unpleasant bathroom experience. i’m totally having a shart attack.”

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