sherwood forest

a cult like neighborhood where almost everyone is related to the point where a drunken hookup would most likely be with a blood relative. it is filled with overly-rich people who have so much money that they don’t know what to do with it, so they buy a third house (their second in sherwood). your summers from when you’re a little toddler to a 16-year old boy/girl consist of going to a day camp. when you were little you were horribly scared of the great white ape and believed all the stories about kids being torn apart or eaten. every kid can’t wait until their senior year, but once it’s finally there they are all ready for camp to be over. to all the seniors, -ss-ssin is the best game they have ever played. in this camp, you look up to g-d (aka mr. moulden) and live to see him drive around on a golf cart with speakers blaring off the back. the highland games are your life and the waterman games are even better. most likely you wear a one piece up until your senior year, when you realize that you should probably lay out at main pier and get a tan. while the boys play roof ball, you listen to your i-pods and repeatedly play the same songs. you wouldn’t miss trophy night for anything and you know that the romans usually always win, but the spartans are still “just as good”! every kid’s dream is to be boy or girl of the year, but only one prevails. absolutely no girls shave and someone should probably inform them that swimming in the seaweed-infested severn river does not count as showering. everyone is open and says exactly what’s on their minds even if it is, “safety. i farted.” you use the term mexi regularly, referring to seating three across a golf cart, and if someone doesn’t know what it means they are automatically in the back. there is never any drama because everyone realizes that people aren’t perfect. you can always count on 40-year old men (most of them relatively attractive) to play basketball every sunday morning shirtless. married/singles baseball is kind of a big deal around here and the in-school/out of school lacrosse game is eagerly antic-p-ted every year. the friendships that are made here are stronger than any other bond between a group of people. if you live there, you know what “the gully” means and almost every night you end up drinking (or p-ssing out!) there. every year you have a different “hot spot” that eventually gets busted, but you continue to go back their anyways. you know the security guard’s name and cell phone number by heart and all the tricky ways to stay out of his way. corn roast and the third of july are your favorite holidays and both are just reasons for all the alcoholics to get sh-t faced and tell funny stories the next morning. on both of these nights, no matter what your age, everyone parties together. sixteen year-olds drink with 40 year-olds and are told, “whatever happens on the road stays on the road.” on the fourth of july, mr. kraft (who you also worship) drives around a truck with a band playing in the back, followed by all the hung-over counselors and then the entire community decked out in red, white, and blue! to people who live here, 30 is not a number it’s a beverage. you know what shave ball is and cannot wait until you’re 21 so you can go to the flatts and join in. almost everyone has “borrowed” atleast one golf cart, but some people are not able to return it and have to serve community service..cough,cough. almost everyone moves back to this community when they are older and have a family of their own here. everyone in the relatively close annapolis area makes fun of this neighborhood, but secretly all wish they lived here. but to everyone who lives there it’s there own little paradise, no place they’d rather be..
sherwood forest is f-ckin awesome.