shit

1. one of the most popular swear/cuss/curse words/profanities

2. another word feces. p–p. dookie. scheisse. poo poo. brownies.

the sh-t list:

the ghost sh-t
the kind where you feel sh-t come out, see sh-t on the toilet paper, but there’s no sh-t in the bowl.

the clean sh-t
the kind where you feel sh-t come out, see sh-t in the bowl, but there’s no sh-t on the toilet paper.

the wet sh-t
you wipe your -ss fifty times and it still feels unwiped. so you end up putting toilet paper between your -ss and your underwear so you don’t ruin them with those dreadful skid marks.

the second wave sh-t
this sh-t happens when you’ve finished, your pants are up to your knees, and you suddenly realize you have to sh-t some more.

the brain hemorrahage through your nose sh-t
also known as “pop a vein in your forehead sh-t”. you have to strain so much to get it out that you turn purple and practically have a stroke.

the corn sh-t
no explanation necessary.

the lincoln log sh-t
the kind of sh-t that’s so enormous you’re afraid to flush it down without first breaking it up into little pieces with the toilet brush.

the nororius drinker sh-t
the kind of sh-t you have the morning after a long night of drinking. it’s most noticeable trait is the tread mark left on the bottom of the toilet bowl after you flush.

the “gee, i really wish i could sh-t” sh-t
the kind where you want to sh-t, but even after straining your guts out, all you can do is sit on the toilet, cramped and farting.

the wet cheeks sh-t
also known as the “power dump”. that’s the kind that comes out of your -ss so fast that your b-tt cheeks get splashed with the toilet water.

the liquid sh-t
that’s the kind where yellowish-brown liquid shoots out of your b-tt, splashes all over the side of the toilet bowl and, at the same time, chronically burns your tender p–p-chute.

the mexican food sh-t
a cl-ss all on its own.

the crowd pleaser
this sh-t is so intriguing in size and/or appearance that you have to show it to someone before flushing.

the mood enhancer
this sh-t occurs after a lengthy period of constipation, thereby allowing you to be your old self again.

the ritual
this sh-t occurs at the same time each day and is accomplished with the aid of a newspaper.

the guinness book of records sh-t
a sh-t so noteworthy it should be recorded for future generations.

the aftershock sh-t
this sh-t has an odour so powerful than anyone entering the vicinity within the next seven hours is affected.

the “honeymoon’s over” sh-t
this is any sh-t created in the presence of another person.

the groaner
a sh-t so huge it cannot exit without vocal -ssistance.

the floater
characterized by its floatability, this sh-t has been known to resurface after many flushings.

the ranger
a sh-t which refuses to let go. it is usually necessary to engage in a rocking or bouncing motion, but quite often the only solution is to push it away with a small piece of toilet paper.

the phantom sh-t
this appears in the toilet mysteriously and no one will admit to putting it there.

the peek-a-boo sh-t
now you see it, now you don’t. this sh-t is playing games with you. requires patience and muscle control.

the bombsh-ll
a sh-t that comes as a complete surprise at a time that is either inappropriate to sh-t (i.e. during lovemaking or a root c-n-l) or you are nowhere near sh-tting facilities.

the snake charmer
a long skinny sh-t which has managed to coil itself into a frightening position – usually harmless.

the olympic sh-t
this sh-t occurs exactly one hour prior to the start of any compet-tive event in which you are entered and bears a close resemblance to the drinker’s sh-t.

the back-to-nature sh-t
this sh-t may be of any variety but is always deposited either in the woods or while hiding behind the p-ssenger side of your car.

the pebbles-from-heaven sh-t
an adorable collection of small t-rds in a cl-ster, often a gift from g-d when you actually can’t sh-t.

premeditated sh-t
laxative induced. doesn’t count.

sh-tzopherenia
fear of sh-tting – can be fatal!

energizer vs. duracell sh-t
also known as a “still going” sh-t.

the power dump sh-t
the kind that comes out so fast, you barely get your pants down when you’re done.

the liquid plumber sh-t
this kind of sh-t is so big it plugs up the toilet and it overflows all over the floor. (you should have followed the advice from the lincoln log sh-t.)

the spinal tap sh-t
the kind of sh-t that hurts so much coming out, you’d swear it’s got to be coming out sideways.

the “i think i’m giving birth through my -sshole” sh-t
similar to the lincoln log and the spinal tap sh-ts. the shape and size of the t-rd resembles a tall boy beer can. vacuous air sp-ce remains in the r-ct-m for some time afterwards.

the porridge sh-t
the type that comes out like toothpaste, and just keeps on coming. you have two choices: a) flush and keep going, or b) risk it piling up to your b-tt while you sit there helpless.

the “i’m going to chew my food better” sh-t
when the bag of doritos you ate last night lacerates the insides of your r-ct-m on the way out in the morning.

the “i think i’m turning into a bunny” sh-t
when you drop lots of cute, little round ones that look like marbles and make tiny splashing sounds when they hit the water.

the “what the h-ll died in here?” sh-t
also sometimes referred to as “the toxic dump”. of course you don’t warn anyone of the poisonous bathroom odour. instead, you stand innocently near the door and enjoy the show as they run out gagging and gasping for air.

the “i just know there’s a t-rd still dangling there” sh-t
where you just sit there patiently and wait for the last cling-on to drop off because if you wipe now, it’s going to smear all over the place.
“aw sh-t”

“i have to take a sh-t”
the most functional english word

well, it’s sh-t…that’s right, sh-t!
sh-t may just be the most functional
word in the english language.
examples:
you can get sh-t-faced,
be sh-t out of luck,
or have sh-t for brains.
with a little effort,
you can get your sh-t together,
find a place for your sh-t, or
be asked to sh-t or get off the pot.
you can smoke sh-t,
buy sh-t,
sell sh-t,
lose sh-t,
find sh-t,
forget sh-t,
and tell others to eat sh-t.
some people know their sh-t, while
others can’t tell the difference
between sh-t and shinola.
there are lucky sh-ts,
dumb sh-ts,
crazy sh-ts,
there is bull sh-t,
horse sh-t and
chicken sh-t.
you can throw sh-t,
sling sh-t,
catch sh-t,
shoot the sh-t,
or duck when the sh-t hits the fan.
you can give a sh-t or
serve sh-t on a shingle.
you can find yourself in deep sh-t
or be happier than a pig in sh-t.
some days are colder than sh-t,
some days are hotter than sh-t,
and some days are just plain sh-tty.
some music sounds like sh-t,
things can look like sh-t,
and there are times when you feel like sh-t.
you can have too much sh-t,
not enough sh-t,
the right sh-t,
the wrong sh-t or
a lot of weird sh-t.
you can carry sh-t,
have a mountain of sh-t, or find
yourself up sh-ts creek without a paddle.
sometimes everything you touch turns to sh-t and other times you
fall in a bucket of sh-t and come out smelling like a rose.
when you stop to consider all the facts,
it’s the basic building block of the english language.
and remember, once you know your sh-t,
you don’t need to know anything else!
1) when combined with “the,” used to describe something that is the best, greatest.

2) without a preceeding the, is use to describe something that is the worst.
1) man, this weed is the sh-t! i can barely feel my feet!

2) man, this weed is sh-t. it tastes like oregano.
a word formerly used to describe fecal matter, however now can be used to describe anything conceivable, from nouns to emotions.
k: check out my new porsche!
g: that sh-ts t-te

l: i completely agree with obama’s statement that robust diplomacy and effective development are the best long-term tools for securing america’s future.
f: that sh-ts gay

j: police!!!! put your hands in the air!!!!
d: oh sh-t!

b: yo i banged that chickenhead last nite
v: awwww shiieett
the kind of word you search for in definithing.com when boredom is attacking you, don’t worry am a survivor (you: -gives thumbs up-)
“i’m bored….lets type random words on the search bar and see if ppl actually has written the deffiniton of it -types sh-t on search bar-”
originally a slang term for fecal matter now commonly used as an all-purpose exclamation, noun, verb, adjective or adverb.
you don’t get the sh-t unless you got the sh-t. and if you want the sh-t you gots to flaunt the sh-t. you gotta center the sh-t before you enter the sh-t. make sure you choose the sh-t before you use the sh-t.
’cause if you abuse the sh-t, you gonna lose the sh-t.
“sh-t” may just be the most powerful word in the english
language. you can be sh-t faced, sh-t out of luck, or have sh-t for brains. with a little effort, you can get your sh-t together, find a place for your sh-t or decide to sh-t or get off the pot. you can smoke sh-t, buy sh-t, sell sh-t, lose sh-t, find sh-t, forget sh-t, and tell others to eat sh-t and die. some people know their sh-t while others can’t tell the difference between sh-t and shineola. there are lucky sh-ts, dumb sh-ts, crazy sh-ts, and sweet sh-ts. there is bull sh-t, horse sh-t and chicken sh-t. you can throw sh-t, sling sh-t, catch sh-t, or duck when sh-t hits the fan. you can give a sh-t or serve sh-t on a shingle. you can find yourself in deep sh-t or be happier than a pig in sh-t. some days are colder than sh-t, some days are hotter than sh-t, and some days are just plain sh-tty. some music sounds like sh-t, things can look like sh-t, and there are times when you feel like sh-t. you can have too much sh-t, not enough sh-t, the right sh-t, the wrong sh-t or a lot of weird sh-t. you can carry sh-t, have a mountain of sh-t, or find yourself up sh-t creek without a paddle. sometimes everything you touch turns to sh-t and other times you
swim in a sea of sh-t and come out smelling like a rose. when you stop to consider all the facts, it’s the basic building block of creation.
do you really need an example after all that sh-t? i didn’t think so.

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