shit happens

a universal religious concept:
taoism: sh-t happens.
hinduism: this sh-t happened before.
islam: if sh-t happens, take hostages.
buddhism: if sh-t happens is it really sh-t?
protestantism: sh-t happens if you work hard.
catholicism: sh-t happens, i deserve it.
7th day adventist:sh-t happens on sat-rday.
mormonism: knock knock, sh-t happens.
judaism: why does sh-t happen to me?
krishnaism: sh-t happens, ring a dingy ding.
jehovah’s witness:people now living will see sh-t happen.
paganism: each sh-t has its own name.
atheism: bullsh-t!
tv evangelism: send more sh-t.
rastafarianism: let’s smoke this sh-t.
sunday school student:i gotta go!
used when when the inevitable happens without being able to circ-mvent or stop it or as a term of commisseration
dont feel bad about it man, sh-t happens!
when something happens that is out of one’s control and usually results in a negative situations.

also see sh-t.
laurie: i spent my paycheck on drugs and now the landlord is kicking me out for not paying rent.

leah: sh-t happens.
my outlook on life

and now im typing random stuff to make up the 20 letters needed…never mind, sh-t happens
sh-t happens, usually to me, so you’ll be alright
when bad things happen to you, other people or the world. apparently for no reason.
news/tv broadcast:
this morning a terrible tragedy occured. one quarter of much-admired liverpudlian band the beatles and world peace activist, john lennon has been shot. in other news the spice girls have released another single and hope to tour every club worldwide shortly.

world: well i guess bad sh-t happens.
better list of religious versions:

taoism sh-t happens.
confucianism confucius say, “sh-t happens.”
buddhism if sh-t happens, it isn’t really sh-t.
zen buddhism what is the sound of sh-t happening?
hinduism this sh-t happened before.
mormonism this sh-t is going to happen again.
islam if sh-t happens, it is the will of allah.
stoicism this sh-t is its own reward.
protestantism let this sh-t happen to someone else.
calvinism sh-t happens because you don’t work hard enough.
pentecostalism in jesus’ name, heal this sh-t!
catholicism sh-t happens because you deserve it.
judaism why does this sh-t always happen to us?
zoroastrianism sh-t happens half the time.
marxism this sh-t is going to hit the fan.
atheism no sh-t.
seventh day adventist no sh-t on sat-rdays.
existentialism absurd sh-t.
agnosticism what is this sh-t?
nihilism who gives a sh-t?
deconstruction sh-t happens in hegemonic meta-narratives.
christian science sh-t is in your mind.
moonies only happy sh-t really happens.
jehovah’s witnesses knock, knock, sh-t happens.
scientology sh-t happens on page 152 of dianetics by l. ron hubbard
hare krishna sh-t happens, rama rama.
hedonism there’s nothing like a good sh-t happening.
rastafarianism let’s smoke this sh-t.
a fict-tious explanation of the origin of this phrase occurs in the 1994 movie forrest gump. during his capricious run, an enthusiastic fan running alongside him points out to forrest that he has just stepped in a pile of dog feces. when forrest replies, “it happens,” the fan replies, “what, sh-t?”, to which forrest replies, “sometimes”. the fan is then unwittingly inspired to create the “sh-t happens” b-mper sticker. wikipedia
when something stupid or annoying happens without your control.

forrest gump’s famous quote.
tom: i got fired yesterday. our company’s cutting back.

jack: that sucks.

tom: yeah, sh-t happens.

—————————————————–

fan: you just stepped in a huge pile of dog sh-t!

forrest gump: it happens.

fan: what, sh-t?

forrest gump: sometimes.

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