Sir-Brags-A-Lot

a person who -ssumes that he is superior to everyone else but is horribly, horribly wrong. he has a c-cky att-tude about him that tends to make most people angry, however, for some unknown reason he tends to enjoy it even more if someone does get angry at him. typically he is the last one to get the jokes that are directed at him even though they are plainly obvious.

he plans to go to a university nearby for fear if he was to go to somewhere like mit he might actually meet someone there who he would consider to be more intelligent than him. heaven forbid that happen. then he would have one less thing to brag about and a sir-brags-a-lot must always brag. they’ll even brag about stupid things that most people wouldn’t be proud of – like having a huge mouth. they love nothing more than being better than other people or showing others up. even if they make a thirty-five on their act (which is a nearly perfect score) with their last breath they would still brag saying, “if i would’ve gotten any less than a thirty i would have been upset,” even if all their friends made less than a thirty just to be a jerk.

sir-brags-a-lots typically have little to no common sense even though they are what most people would call “book smart,” for example: a sir-brags-a-lot would try to lift the lid off of a vacuum sealed decicator (which needs slid off not lifted off), after being told that this would not work and then ask why it wouldn’t open. they are also very bad in cl-sses such as english.

a sir-brags-a-lot is also thought to have a secret affair going on between him and his computer. just as a warning, a sir-brags-a-lot and his computer are a scary thing to behold. watch out for those sticky cords! never. ever. approach him while he is whispering sweet nothings to his darling. he might attack. seriously. it is rumored that he has been considering leaving his beloved for a newer, younger model but no one is sure.

signs of a sir-brags-a-lot:

+ arrogant, c-cky att-tude that no one likes.
+ constant bragging.
+ talks to people like they’re little kids, or inferior.
+ often thought to be having an affair with their computer.
+ seems to have a need to show people up.
+ typically is slow when it comes to jokes.
+ has little to no common sense but is what some people call “book smart.”
+ likes to be a jerk.
+ tends to be somewhat hypocritical and ironic.

if you meet someone who is a sir-brags-a-lot you are doomed to forever here them brag about how much prettier, smarter, and oh-so-much-better they are than you even though they aren’t.
sir-brags-a-lot: “if i would’ve made any less than a thirty on the act i would’ve been so mad!”

ordinary kid: “stop bragging jack-ss.”

sir-brags-a-lot: “you’re just jealous.”

—–

sir-brags-a-lot: “i was the only person in my math cl-ss who made an a. if anyone would’ve made higher than me i would’ve been really angry.”

ordinary kid: “does it look like i give a f-ck? stop bragging.”