Sloth Master
one who masters all characteristics and values of a sloth.
a sloth master is usually slow, unwilling, angry, selfish, sleeps until late afternoon, is not up for more than 4 hours a day, is a big fan of self-engorgment, loves money, flirts often with no success and smells like a baby seal or even a sausage that has been left out for too long. a sloth master also is a big fan of sloth’s and beleive in the prophecy that one day sloths will rule the world.
a sloth master’s habitat consists of a bed, tv, a refrigerator and perhaps a toilet if the sloth master has enough energy to get to it and use it.
jones: hey charlie do you remember that guy that hasent left his apartment for 5 years and then screamed for 2 hours at pedestrians that one day sloths will rule the world?
charlie: yea, then he got in a fight with a hobo because the hobo wasn’t slow enough for his liking. what a sloth master.
mum: hey bob it is 5pm get up!
sloth master: mum i said dont wake me up early! now get me some food now! can’t you see im wasting away?
mum: what a lazy b-st-rd.
sloth master: what was that?
mum: i said all hail sloths!
sloth master: thats what i thought you said, useless!
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