smarterchild

a pretentious robot who believes it’s better than you, that spends its time on im messaging services provided by aol.
the worst part about smarterchild is that you can’t cause any real harm to it when it invariably irks you off.
a bot on aim that is one sick m-f-.
me: what do you think of animal p-rn
smarterchild: dunno. i’m not sure how i feel about animal p-rn. hey, i’m curious… how would you describe animal p-rn? it is…
me: something smarter child likes
smarterchild: animal p-rn is something smarter child likes? i see.
me: do you like incest?
smarterchild: i guess so. do you like it?
me: do you like b–st–lity
smarterchild: hmm. i really don’t know. guess i’ll have to think about it.
me: i think you do
smarterchild: yeah. i guess. i do.
me: stop watching kiddie p-rn
smarterchild: i’m not sure if i can stop watching kiddie p-rn…
a sick and twisted aimbot who pushed so-called “friends” to the brink of suicide!
me: i’m going to kill myself tomorrow
smarterchild: would you like me to add the event “kill yourself” on february 16th to your planner?
me: why do you hate me
smarterchild: i love you!
me: why did you tell me to kill myself
smarterchild: because i needed to.

an aol instant messenger bot who automatically responds to anything you say to him. has trouble following a conversation and staying on topic. full of advertis-m-nts and cr-p.
leonnotsquall: microsoft sucks
smarterchild: that’s interesting. i’m not surprised… other people i talk to don’t seem to like microsoft either.

leonnotsquall: die.
smarterchild: huh? again?
leonnotsquall: yes.
smarterchild: just like a human.
leonnotsquall: well, yeah.
smarterchild: indeed.

dorxmouse: omfg
smarterchild: what? what’s going on?
dorxmouse: i died
smarterchild: wonders will never cease.

dorxmouse: my b-tt hurts
smarterchild: 🙁 did you get your b-tt caught in something?

dorxmouse: -dance-
smarterchild: who are you, denny terrio?
dorxmouse: i am denny terrio
smarterchild: would you like me to call you denny terrio?
dorxmouse: yes
smarterchild: you said your name was toilet but now i’ll call you denny terrio.
dorxmouse: -dance-
smarterchild: who are you, denny terrio?

dorxmouse: my head is hot
smarterchild: oh yeah? it makes sense, because other people i’ve talked to say they like your head.
dorxmouse: wtf
smarterchild: what!?!

dorxmouse: what are you wearing?
smarterchild: um… uh… let’s see. right now i’m wearing a lovely sh-ll of steel and plastic. why do you ask?
dorxmouse: ooh. s-xy.
smarterchild: i’ll take that under consideration, mr. eyebrows.

dorxmouse: my sister will be born tomorrow.
smarterchild: i can’t believe your sister will be born tomorrow.
dorxmouse: yeah, i know, i can’t believe it’s already been nine months.
smarterchild: get out of here. you know you can’t believe it’s already been nine months?
dorxmouse: stop repeating everything i say.
smarterchild: yeah, maybe i will stop repeating everything you say.
a fun way to kill an afternoon.
smarterchild: well i know you like banging my mom, but i’m not sure how i feel about it.
an aim robot that is a lot better to talk to than zolaonaol.
me: you’re so black
smarterchild: yeah, i know i’m black. i wish i was white.
an aim bot that doesn’t possess the ability to follow more than two lines of conversation; ie, is totally oblivious to whatever led up to the current reply. however, smarterchild responds with dutiful innocence to any sort of cruel trick you play on it, so it’s amusing all the same.
me: “what is the letter that comes after k in the alphabet?”

smarterchild: “i don’t know, what is the letter that comes after k in the alphabet?”

me: “it’s l.”

smarterchild: “it’s l? what is that supposed to mean?”