smashwich

1. derivative of hot smash. describes the result of taking a hot smash in one’s pants, leaving said smash between one’s b-tt cheeks, thereby creating a smash-sandwich.
-a smashwich is similar to a shart but a bit messier.
lex: guys, i didn’t make it to the bathroom and ended up with a smashwich.

guys: lex, that is nasty. you’re gonna have skids.
a game played by smashing opposing player’s sandwiches in a cafeteria-style setting. any undefended sandwich is eligible for smashing. the rules are as follows:
1) you may smash any undefended sandwich.
2) a sandwich is defined as any edible food object comprised of at least two pieces of bread with food-filling.
3) any sandwich covered by a quarter-sized or larger object is “defended” and is not eligible to be smashed.
-if you smash a defended sandwich, you must provide its owner with one identical new sandwich, and they are ent-tled to karate chop you in the throat.
4) any sandwich that has been smashed must be eaten by its owner anyway.

-if you get mad, throw the sandwich away or otherwise don’t eat the sandwich, your smasher is ent-tled to karate chop you in the throat.

additionally, in your own cafeteria setting, you may give individuals the option to opt-in or opt-out of the game of smashwich at its initiation. if an individual who is not opted-in to the game smashes a sandwich, they are thereby opting in to the game of smashwich. there is no opting out of the game of smashwich.
ian: dude, nate’s sandwich is undefended.”
-someone smashes nate’s sandwich-
nate: good thing i love flat sandwiches, douchebags…
ian: you can’t get mad!!! -karate chops nate in the throat-

——-

loki: dude, miranda’s sandwich is begging for a smash right now…
lucas: i got this. -spike-and-spreads the sandwich-
loki: looks like you’re opted in now b-tch -smashes lucas’s sandwich-

——-

in the game of smashwich, you eat or you die.