soap opera

any pathetic, fantasy, unreal drama shown on basic cable daytime hour television. full of unreal situations where everyone has had s-x with everyone else, everyone is related to everyone else, and someone is always having someone elses child. so unreal that noone ever goes to the bathroom or food shopping and there is always fresh ice on trays with alcohol in every room.
“like sands through the hourgl-ss so are the days of out lives” -intro to days of our lives
a weekday drama airing during the daytime, intended for women (particularly “homemakers”/”at-home moms”), known for excessively emotional acting and shallow plots and scripts. soap operas are so-called because the earliest dramas, which originated in the 1950s and 1960s, were sponsored by soap-making companies such as proctor & gamble.
my wife’s favorite soap opera is days of our lives. or is it all my children?
some signs that you’re watching a soap opera:

-you’re watching it between the hours of 10 am and 2 pm.

-it looks like it was shot on a camcorder.

-the acting is extremely melodramatic and over-the-top.

-the quality of the writing makes you realize, “hey, maybe the second season of heroes wasn’t so bad after all.”

-the cast was picked solely for their looks, not because they have any real acting talent (which they usually don’t).

-somebody just came back from the dead in a totally unbelievable manner.

-everybody is related to one another in some convoluted fashion.

-everybody is having s-x with one another, even if they’re related (and don’t know it).

-are years of backstory getting in the way of the show’s ever-more-outrageous plotlines? no problem. just retcon it all away.
soap operas only exists to give work to the actors, writers and directors who couldn’t make it on primetime television, and to give stay-at-home soccer moms something to do during the day.
a dumb and foolish way of tellin common folk that rich wh-r-s have bad lives.
soap operas are stupid. everyones has s-x with everyone and everyone knows everyone somehow.
a television/radio serial drama characterized by sentimentality and melodrama.
soap opera
aka: daytime serial drama
a monotonous television drama that is on everyday, five days a week, 52 weeks out of the year. soap operas are known for their attrocious acting, their unrealistically attractive women who have had 5 or 6 plastic surgeries.

on a soap opera the average age difference between a parent and child is roughly 8 years. (yes, usually a 40 year old woman on a soap will have a son that is over 30)

on any given soap opera episode there are anywhere from 3-6 different storylines, usually interrelated somehow. every few years or so, the same episodic material is completely recycled. soap operas are all about couples seeking to elope because their families are enemies. on most soaps there are between 15-30 characters broken down into 2 or 3 families. someway the families know each other. either they are business partners or elsewhere.

a soap opera is a show where you can’t go 5 minutes without seeing a tampon commercial.

in every soap, in every scene their is a fireplace in the background and a tote of wine.

a soap opera is a show to watch for people with a lot of time on their hands or don’t have a life!!!
mom: oh, how wonderful, ridge is about to propose to brooke!

me: what is this the 23rd time?

that’s a soap opera
(n) 1. real people pretending to be fake people with made-up problems being watched by real people to forget their real problems. 2. f-ck em and get your own life
dude, get off your soap opera-watching -ss and get a life.