Sontia
sontia is a noun used to refer to a woman with certain characteristics. these include copper colored eyes that can melt you or make you burst into flames depending on her mood, skin that sweats chanel, breath that always smells like lemon and strawberry, even if she just ate shrimp and an onion, hair that smells like a lilac farted, a long, smooth neck that ain’t got no fat on it, t-tties that fill up your whole hands, a back and nipples with no hair growing on them, 4 or 5 feet of legs that just look like smooth milk chocolate, legs that just keep going on up and up until they make a perfect -ss of themselves, an -ss that only jiggles once when you slap it and doesn’t have any hail damage, a p-ssy that smells exactly like the phrase, “lick me” sounds, tastes like it would be a ben and jerry’s flavor if they weren’t gay hippies, and can tie a quarter in a knot.
mentally, a woman that is ‘sontia’ is so talented that she made john lenin want to pay a guy to off him (big conspiracy led by bush), jimi hendrix to overdose, and kurt cobain to cheney himself in the face because of their obvious impotence and incompetence. also, she is so smart that you will never have a chance to hook up with her. unless you are ‘the rock’ (dwayne johnson).
side effects of exposure to sontia s-xuals include forgetting the names of all of your ex’s. these effects are c-mulative, and will result in a resistance to triflin’ hos; you will find yourself talking to a woman and you will think, “this b-tch ain’t sontia at all!”
bob: man, check that b-tch out… she’s sontia!
john: i don’t even know her, but call her a b-tch again! i swear, i will bite your ear off like mike tyson! you’re the b-tch!
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