southampton

a f-cking sh-thole full of sc-mmers, one of the worst places to live in the uk. they have a sh-t football team that are currently sitting at the bottom of the english premier league. the team is so sh-t that they had to steal local rivals manager and players. they are so sh-t that they couldn’t hold a decent event. this year portsmouth is holding two big international events, one to celebrate the battle of trafalgar and the other is the international vestival of the sea. southampton can only hold a sh-tty boat show each year. if you have chance to go to southampton, don’t go there. the only decent thing about southampton is the option not to go there!!
to find southampton on the map, look for the -rs- crack at the bottom of the uk, and follow it right to the sh-tty base. the you will see southampton.
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southampton is the major city on the south coast and britain’s leading p-ssenger port. it also has the biggest and best-supported football club in the south outside of london.

it is the place where king canute tried to turn back the waves and where he defeated ethelred the unready. it is the port from which richard the lionheart set sail for the crusades, king henry v and his troops embarked for the battle of agincourt, the pilgrim fathers set off for america aboard the mayflower and from which the t-tanic departed. it is also the city where the spitfire was designed, built and flown and from which the battle of britain was won. as a consequence it faced relentless attacks form german bombers, during which much of the old city was burnt to the ground.

it is still the main port in england for ocean-going cruise ships and an annual international boat show is held in the marina. it has several shopping malls, including west quay, which opened as the biggest city-centre shopping mall in europe.

famous residents have included the first world war commander of the british fleet, admiral jellicoe, the writer, jane austen, the painter, millais, the film director, ken russell and the pop singer, craig david. sotonians, as southampton people are known, are renowned for their sense of humour and two of the country’s greatest comedians, tommy cooper and benny hill were also residents of the city.

southampton has the world’s oldest bowling green and many other fine sports facilities, including st mary’s football stadium and the rose bowl cricket stadium, both of which have hosted england international matches. in 1618 king james called southampton “one of the healthiest towns in the kingdom”. it seems that little has changed, as in 2006 it was named “the fittest city in the uk” by mens fitness magazine, based on various criteria, including the incidence of heart disease and the level of gym membership.

for the ancestors of millions of americans, canadians, australians, new zealanders and south africans, this was their last sight of england. at one time more than half of all people travelling in and out of britain, p-ssed through the city, earning it the nickname “gateway to the world”.
southampton fc fans are the most loyal in the south of england.
means the best team in the world.
comes from the ancient latin;hamptonus meaning ‘the best’
i love southampton = i love the best team in the world.
a town in the south of england that has drifted a mile west every 3.7 years in an attempt to get away from a m-ssive sh-tpile called portsmouth.
i want to get out of this pompey sh-tpile but they wont let us in southampton until we have had our jabs.
southampton is a major port and a very historic place. new cruise liners leave it’s docks everyday and it still holds all of it’s amazing quality.

the t-tanic left from southampton and benny hill – the famous comedian – was born here and buried in holly brook cementry.

it has one of the countrys leading hospitals in it and a birthing centre which is the best in the uk. it was the hospital which featured in the tv doc-mentry – one born every minute.

it has one of the most supported football teams in the south of england and has such a feirce rivalry with the neighbouring city – portsmouth – that half the entrys here are very biased.

all in all southampton is a great place to live and flourish.
dad: hey kids where do you want to go on holiday this summer?

kids: southampton!!!!
a place where so many people have slept with their friends and their friends friends and their friends friends friends, it is officially known as the most incestuous place in the south of england.
it’s all gone a bit southampton
are you guys doing a southampton?
used when describing groups who are s-xually involved with one another.
a commercial port on the south coast of england where the world’s largest p-ssenger cruise liners don’t dock but wait out in the clearer waters off portsmouth.
sc-m southampton