Southampton Chandler
a technique for courtship practiced on the south coast (usually in a nightclub, but can also be effective in libraries and hospitals). the maneouvre begins by working oneself into a unholy sweat, sauna’s may be used, however the purists shun this frivilous aid.
next the partic-p-nt (using a feminine alias, such as justin or miranda) must choose his target and incessantly annoy them with a socially inept dogma – this can result in a ‘pull’.
if the distinctly average looking target (gender unspecified) can be lured to a bedroom, the ritual mating will begin. this usually lasts for about 15 minutes or until the ‘gurning f-ck lizard’ is so ‘gunked up’ her tears taste salty. real salty.
illegal in most civilised worlds.
justin: you know i created the southampton chandler
girl: get the f-ck away from me, you depraved, red, sweaty f-ck.
justin: i’ll put you down as a maybe.
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