Southside Surprise
after taking a dump you realize that you need a deeper cleaning than normal. you layer up the tissue, insert it in to your -n-s, and push gainfully as to ensure adequate penetration depth. unfortunately you pushed a little too hard and that cheap toilet paper that they stock in the bathrooms at the office is not capable of withstanding the finger pressure.
your reaction time is not nearly quick enough. your eager finger slips right through the gaping tissue hole in to your -n-s which you have purposely relaxed so as to allow for proper penetration. your -n-s is not so relaxed any more and you instinctively tighten the muscles, producing a firm, albeit temporary hold on your finger.
you then hastily yank your finger out of your r-ct-m causing slight discomfort as the small, twisted pieces of cheap tissue have caused immediate, itchy irritation due to their scrubbing your -n-l wall.
you muster the will to look at your finger. there is no time to become curious as to whether or not it will smell because you realize quickly that it does, partly because you wafted your finger to the frontal area where your senses are most responsive and partly because fresh, moist, sh-t that is not submerged in water creates a powerful odor indeed.
finally, you require several rotations of hand-washing with soap to completely rid of the stench that has penetrated the oils contained on your finger.
this my friends is the southside surprise.
again? i thought they upgraded the toilet paper! southside surprise strikes again.
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