spatchcock

a dressed and split chicken for roasting or broiling on a spit
(if you’re jerking off with a spatula you need serious psychological help)
reddening of the p-n-s after beating off with a spatula
d-mn my p-n-s hurts, but it was worth it.
the act of a (flexible) person with both br–sts and a p-n-s giving themselves a t-tw-nk.
did you see that video of that hot sh-m-l- spatchc-cking?!
slap your c-ck so hard the spatch c-cked almost p-ss out with pain
“anyway last night i spatch c-cked her and then i had to take her to the hospital…she had 10 st-tches”
the act of striking a male in the genitals with a spatula.
sh-t son, i done did get spatchc-cked
the act of using one’s p-n-s to flip eggs off a partner’s v-g-n-
she asked me to make her breakfast, so i offered her a spatchc-ck.
a serail drunark who continuously gets smashed, hits on women well above his league, tries anxiously to phone his on/off girlfriend and repeatedly crashes out due to exuberant use of a gl-ss of beer. welcome to the world of the spatch-c-ck.
1 beer: marc says “hows life guys?”
2 beers: marc says “f-ck off ya bawbag”
3 beers: marc says “your a chamsie shatner”
4 beers: marc says ” they all want it, every last one of them!”
several beers later: after picking 3 fights with his own pals, marc decides to wander aimlessly through the night club, hiccupping on his journey, trying to find the nicest girl to get slapped from. “marc, you alright?”
“im fine ya c-nt”
“gie that burd peace, shes not interested!”
“they all want me, hiccup”
“marc, were going hame, come on”
“aye wait up, i hate yous, i hate yous aw”
“aye, very good marc, ya spatch-c-ck”