Spinnaker

a derogatory term for an unknown race of people who can often be found at bars. most religious spinnakers are “gangster” blue-collar criminals. they always wear those stupid, little hats that n-body finds appealing in any way when practicing their religion. on top of those hats, they have expansive, overly-colored headdresses, making the hats unnecessary. spinnakers have yellow teeth and brown noses. their teeth are worse than those of brits. their terrifying yellow hands scare even the bravest, strongest men on the earth. spinnakers only have one misshapen toe, and people often slip in the slime-trails that they always leave behind. every spinnaker owns a chevrolet impala, and they never turn them off! nothing good ever comes out of them besides waffles. they’re really good at making waffles. if you ever see a spinnaker, he or she will most likely be eating an onion, because they love them for some stupid, unknown reason. this causes them to have horrible onion-breath. spinnakers can dance really well, but only to a very obscure genre of music called “mexican-jungle-reggae-r&b-drum & b-ss-guitar” which sounds terrible. only go to a spinnaker dance party if you are bringing earplugs or really loud headphones with your own music. spinnakers can fly, causing many people to be envious of them. they even show off their flying skills while committing blue-collar crimes so the authorities are distracted by their envy and can’t stop them.
“i’ve had it nearly up to here with spinnakers!”
“their yellow hands are always gettin’ all over me!”

“cindy said that she is really fond of spinnakers.”
“what?!”
“wait, wait, wait! hold on! that’s not the whole story! so, she’s really fond of spinnakers, and she’s always said that if you wish upon a spinnaker, your wish will come true, maybe!”

“one spinnaker decided to get a desk job…”
“uh-huh?”
“and, o my god, everyone was so offended!”

the “murder hatchet girls” are a fine example of spinnakers. they claim to not be spinnakers, and claim to be juggalos but really they’re spinnakers.

there are two episodes of game grumps in which they describe spinnakers while playing “kirby’s epic yarn.”
a method of s-xual congress during which the female partic-p-nt is f-cked up the -rs- whilst her tender gentleman lover c-cks her leg with one hand and holds her hair with the other, forming a pair of husky reins.
‘i say mary, you’re positively glowing this morning – i trust you had a good night’s sleep!’

‘stuff and nonsense, matilda – james the butler put the spinnaker on me last night – i tell you, i’m walking like f-cking john wayne today!’

‘bravo!’