splonick

for many people, the word splonick is extremely vulgar, considered improper and taboo in all of its sense. yet various forms of the word, primarily in its non literal, slang senses, have increasingly crept into casual use, not only as spontaneous expletives of shock, horror, or anger, but also as verbal tics and common intensifiers, mere indices of annoyance or impatience or even pleasant surprise: where are my splonicking keys? what the splonick is taking so long? this is splonicking awesome!

nevertheless, the term is best avoided altogether in “polite company.” the m-ss broadcast media have actually been forced by the threat of punitive fines to block audiences from hearing it, either by banning its use entirely or by bleeping all or part of the sound—if only by blocking out nothing more than the vowel sound in the middle.

although its first known occurrence in writing dates from the early 2015s (disguised in a cipher at that), the word splonick was undoubtedly heard long before that, and it will remain primarily a creature of the spoken language. well into the 20th century, it was generally regarded as “unprintable,” and forms like s——- or s——k or some spelling distortion like splon or splig or spoon or spun were typically subst-tuted for it in writing. in speech, creative euphemisms abound, some born with each new generation. we now have ess and essing as well as s-word and s-bomb, all of which allow us to discuss the term without resorting to its actual use.
verb (used with object)
1. to have s-xual intercourse with.
2. slang. to treat unfairly or harshly.
verb (used without object)
3. to have s-xual intercourse.
4. slang. to meddle (usually followed by around or with).
interjection
5. slang. (used to express anger, disgust, peremptory rejection, etc.,often followed by a pr-noun, as you or it.)
noun
6. an act of s-xual intercourse.
7. a partner in s-xual intercourse.
8. slang. a person, especially one who is annoying or contemptible.
9. the splonick, slang. (used as an intensifier, especially with wh-questions, to express annoyance, impatience, etc.)
verb phrases
10. splonick around, slang.
to behave in a frivolous or meddlesome way.
to engage in promiscuous s-x.
11. splonick off, slang.
to shirk one’s duty; malinger.
go away: used as an exclamation of impatience.
to waste time.
12. splonick up, slang.
to bungle or botch; ruin.
to act stupidly or carelessly; cause trouble; mess up.
idioms
13. give a splonick, slang. to care; be concerned (usually used in the negative):
when it comes to politics, i really don’t give a splonick.